I have never been very good at good-byes. In fact, that is one thing that I am constantly not improving on. No matter how many times people leave or I leave a place, I end up crying and feeling so broken-hearted. I remember when I first came over here, I met Josh Bowlin. He had come up to lead youth group at Shore Grace. He was awesome. The following week, I met his wife Becca and their two daughters, Caile and Averie. I can honestly say that I have never seen two more beautiful little girls.
The Bowlin family have been over here for two years doing missionary work through Global Partners. At our first Global Partners meeting, I knew that I was going to connect well with Becca. I was new to the environment and the people and she was there with a smile on her face and a warm heart. I knew that I had found a life-long friend when it came to ministry.
From that day on, any chance that I got to hang out with the Bowlins, I took. They became not only family, but really close friends in a short amount of time. Being able to be a part of watching their two adorable girls grow up has been remarkable and such a blessing. I will forever cherish the time that I was able to spend with them.
The Bowlin family left today to go back to Indiana to do home mission for a year. They are appointed as career missionaries to New Zealand and so they have to go back over and raise support to cover their four years in New Zealand that they will hopefully start this coming September. I am so excited for them, but a part of me hurts at the same time.
I could not help but think that I am the next one leaving. I have been here for three and a half months and I only have three more left. The time has seriously flown by and that makes me incredibly sad. Walking into that airport today was petrifying because I knew that in a short while, I would be doing that same thing, except I don’t know when/if I will be coming back.
The Bowlins had tons of people show up to the airport to send them off. That was such a huge blessing and an encouragement to see. I hope that I have the same thing happen to me as well. I am starting to learn that ministry is difficult. There will be people coming in and out of your life so frequently and you just have to adapt to it. I am not great at that. I am very empathic toward people, so that does not help in the process.
As much as it broke my heart to see them happy to go, I could not help but be glad for them at the same time. When I hugged Josh he said, “I’ll see you back here,“ and I said, “I don’t know if I’m coming back.“ He said, “You’re coming back.“ We will have to see about that. The last hug today was from Becca. We both looked at each other and just started crying. She said, “Stop that!” and I said the same thing back to her. A piece of their heart is left in New Zealand and a piece of my heart is left with the Bowlin family.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Connections
This past summer, I was able to meet four kiwis...Kim, Lizzie, Dave (shout out), and Sam. Kim lives in Auckland and I had been wanting to get together with her since I have been here...well, yesterday my wish was granted!Rach and I headed over to Kim's house in Beachlands..which is by the beach..go figure...and we met her family and drove to Clevedon to get ice cream. It was so bizarre to be in Clevedon because it actually resembled my hometown, Houlton.
Later, Brent came over as well as Kim's boyfriend Jake. It was so nice to be around Kim. We were able to talk about camp, so it was super awesome that she knew who I was talking about and it may seem weird, but it seemed like a little piece of home and comfort. We ate dinner with her family (who are flipping amazing) and then later went out into the ocean, the pacific..yeah that's right.
A few went water skiing, but I'm not brave enough for that yet, but I did manage to go tubing. I went tubing in the Pacific...crazy. I didn't hold on for too long because I didn't have that great of a grip and for those of you that remember the banana boat from summer, I'm not too keen on water things like that..as it usually ends up with me being embarrassed for a little while. It was so wonderful to be around a Christian family and to make connection with Kim and her friends.
On another note, I need your prayer for something. I'm really wanting to be stretched when it comes to my ministry...I feel as though I need to start branching out way more than I currently am.So please pray that God will give me boldness and the courage to step up and reach out for Him.I'm here for ministry and I want to be doing that...not just with Christians, but with non-Christians.
Pray for me and I'll pray for you.How's that sound?
Blessings.
Later, Brent came over as well as Kim's boyfriend Jake. It was so nice to be around Kim. We were able to talk about camp, so it was super awesome that she knew who I was talking about and it may seem weird, but it seemed like a little piece of home and comfort. We ate dinner with her family (who are flipping amazing) and then later went out into the ocean, the pacific..yeah that's right.
A few went water skiing, but I'm not brave enough for that yet, but I did manage to go tubing. I went tubing in the Pacific...crazy. I didn't hold on for too long because I didn't have that great of a grip and for those of you that remember the banana boat from summer, I'm not too keen on water things like that..as it usually ends up with me being embarrassed for a little while. It was so wonderful to be around a Christian family and to make connection with Kim and her friends.
On another note, I need your prayer for something. I'm really wanting to be stretched when it comes to my ministry...I feel as though I need to start branching out way more than I currently am.So please pray that God will give me boldness and the courage to step up and reach out for Him.I'm here for ministry and I want to be doing that...not just with Christians, but with non-Christians.
Pray for me and I'll pray for you.How's that sound?
Blessings.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Merry Christmas
Christmas in New Zealand...my family away from my family. The fussners (Beth, Jeff(santa), and Emily, Bowlins (Becca, Josh, Caile, Averie), Back- Sara, Rachel, Me, Brent. I was very thankful to spend Christmas with my extended family over here.So many thoughts went through my head today. I couldn't help but watch the people around me and how they were or had planned to interact with their families, mostly via skype or telephone. It was a hard day. I guess that I thought that me leaving my family would be really tough on them around the holidays because they would know that a person was missing, and I thought that this was a new adventure and that if I were going to get homesick, then it wouldn't be that bad because I was experiencing something new and with new people.
However, my heart didn't feel the same way.It hit hard.While others were watching "The Nativity," my heart and mind were elsewhere...they were in New York with the rest of my family.I wanted to be there,doing the traditions that I have grown up with and sharing that special time with my family.I am so very thankful for my best friend Alicia who stuck by me...she even got her mom on the phone who started crying with me...I felt missed and that warmed my heart.
God constantly amazes me with how He changes my heart and attitude. Yes, I was sad today, but I was able to have a new experience and to share it with new people who mean so very much to me. To have so many people offer to take me in as the "orphan," really made me feel so special. I learned yet again that I am loved both near and far...
So thank you to all who made this Christmas special to me.Both near and far, wide and long, this Christmas will forever be in my memory...and I am forever grateful.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
White Water Rafting Escapades!
Today was one of the most insane days of my life. Being in New Zealand, I have to take advantage of some of the one time experiences…so I decided to head up a group to go white water rafting. When I was coming up with it, all I could think was, “this is going to be AWESOME!” but then when we piled into the van, I had a huge fear come over me. I was petrified. What if I fell out of the boat and they couldn’t get to me? What if I had to wear a wetsuit? How embarrassing would that be?! Goodness…all of a sudden, I really didn’t want to go.
Unfortunately it was too late. I didn’t have a choice anymore. We kept driving to meet our fate…while I thought, I’m about to meet my Maker.
Anyways, we got a little lost on the way there (it was about a 2.5 hour van ride) and it had started to sprinkle rain. We pulled up to the place and I was instantly nervous. There would be no turning back now. We walked into the office, signed a form that said “you can’t sue us if something horrible happens to you,” and we were handed none other than…our wetsuits and booties. Oh dear…my fear…had become a reality.
I put the wet suit on with help from this random Indian girl. Thank you! And…we were off to get instructed. Josh Bowlin, Brent Dongell, Joanne McKinnel, Jean Wan, Rachel Nigro, and Heidi Sattler were in “Yellow Submarine” raft. We owned it. After being instructed, we carried our raft down to the river and set off for our adventure. I was nervous and I was scared that I would pee my pants out of sheer fear. We headed down the first little rapid…not too shabby. Oh, did I forget to mention that we were going on class 5 rapids? Yeah, there are 6 classes…we were on 5. Mental.
It didn’t take us long until we headed to the waterfall. You read that correctly…waterfall. 23 foot drop. Oh my goodness (said in Brent’s voice). We stood up in the boat before we went over…to see what we were about to face. My legs were shaking from nerves, so I quickly sat back down. We were told to “get done” which meant “squish your body into the little holes so that you don’t die” places. We did that and held on for dear life. I guess that I didn’t realize that I could have seriously injured myself. All that I remember is going down the waterfall and being totally submerged, but there was NO way that my hands were letting go of the ropes. Rachel ended up falling out, grabbing ahold of Josh’s paddle and he pulled her up. “Just like Santa” she kept saying. We continued down the river and hit some more wild rapids and ended up soaking wet. Honestly…I haven’t had that much fun in forever…so good!
When we were at the end of our journey, everyone was told to pile out of the boat. I put one leg over…and keep in mind that I hadn’t fallen into the river yet. I put one leg over and then lost my balance and “BOOM!” I fell backwards…literally, on my butt and back..into the water. Just as we were getting out of the river. Leave it to me. That was a repeat of what happened when my friend Kyle and I went canoeing and I fell in when we were docking.
After that adventure, we decided to go to the hot river. I don’t know exactly what it’s called, but it’s a creek that is hot from the thermal heat underneath. So, literally…my skin turned red from the water being so hot. It was so crazy. Here I was, sitting in a stream and it was so hot that I had to move to the colder side of the stream. How crazy!
All in all…one of the best days that I’ve had here…so many adventures with such great people! It is definitely something that I will remember for the rest of my life. Oh, and did I mention that I went white water rafting in New Zealand
Unfortunately it was too late. I didn’t have a choice anymore. We kept driving to meet our fate…while I thought, I’m about to meet my Maker.
Anyways, we got a little lost on the way there (it was about a 2.5 hour van ride) and it had started to sprinkle rain. We pulled up to the place and I was instantly nervous. There would be no turning back now. We walked into the office, signed a form that said “you can’t sue us if something horrible happens to you,” and we were handed none other than…our wetsuits and booties. Oh dear…my fear…had become a reality.
I put the wet suit on with help from this random Indian girl. Thank you! And…we were off to get instructed. Josh Bowlin, Brent Dongell, Joanne McKinnel, Jean Wan, Rachel Nigro, and Heidi Sattler were in “Yellow Submarine” raft. We owned it. After being instructed, we carried our raft down to the river and set off for our adventure. I was nervous and I was scared that I would pee my pants out of sheer fear. We headed down the first little rapid…not too shabby. Oh, did I forget to mention that we were going on class 5 rapids? Yeah, there are 6 classes…we were on 5. Mental.
It didn’t take us long until we headed to the waterfall. You read that correctly…waterfall. 23 foot drop. Oh my goodness (said in Brent’s voice). We stood up in the boat before we went over…to see what we were about to face. My legs were shaking from nerves, so I quickly sat back down. We were told to “get done” which meant “squish your body into the little holes so that you don’t die” places. We did that and held on for dear life. I guess that I didn’t realize that I could have seriously injured myself. All that I remember is going down the waterfall and being totally submerged, but there was NO way that my hands were letting go of the ropes. Rachel ended up falling out, grabbing ahold of Josh’s paddle and he pulled her up. “Just like Santa” she kept saying. We continued down the river and hit some more wild rapids and ended up soaking wet. Honestly…I haven’t had that much fun in forever…so good!
When we were at the end of our journey, everyone was told to pile out of the boat. I put one leg over…and keep in mind that I hadn’t fallen into the river yet. I put one leg over and then lost my balance and “BOOM!” I fell backwards…literally, on my butt and back..into the water. Just as we were getting out of the river. Leave it to me. That was a repeat of what happened when my friend Kyle and I went canoeing and I fell in when we were docking.
After that adventure, we decided to go to the hot river. I don’t know exactly what it’s called, but it’s a creek that is hot from the thermal heat underneath. So, literally…my skin turned red from the water being so hot. It was so crazy. Here I was, sitting in a stream and it was so hot that I had to move to the colder side of the stream. How crazy!
All in all…one of the best days that I’ve had here…so many adventures with such great people! It is definitely something that I will remember for the rest of my life. Oh, and did I mention that I went white water rafting in New Zealand
Monday, December 15, 2008
He is the Lord your God
I don't know about you, but I love my Bible. Okay, so that is probs the typical answer from a missionary, but seriously...I mean it. I love it. I love how I have sermon notes throughout my Bible from years back and how I have papers inserted into my Bible that have quotes or sermon ideas written on them. When I was gone a while back on a weekend retreat, I was handed a piece of paper that had lyrics to a song written on it.
So, today I just really wasn't feeling myself...and I could tell and I'm sure others could as well.I'm starting to feel drained...I feel drained in every capacity and I hate that feeling. I had a little spell of food poisoning, so my body really hated me. We had just gotten done doing an outreach event at the church. I'm trying to get things sorted for camp. And I had something come up last week that just really set my mind thinking...so I wasn't feeling myself...at all.I'm usually quite perky and fun, but today...I just wasn't.
Later on, I was looking through my Bible and came across a few verses, but then the blue piece of paper caught my eye. I opened it up and here were these words:
So, today I just really wasn't feeling myself...and I could tell and I'm sure others could as well.I'm starting to feel drained...I feel drained in every capacity and I hate that feeling. I had a little spell of food poisoning, so my body really hated me. We had just gotten done doing an outreach event at the church. I'm trying to get things sorted for camp. And I had something come up last week that just really set my mind thinking...so I wasn't feeling myself...at all.I'm usually quite perky and fun, but today...I just wasn't.
Later on, I was looking through my Bible and came across a few verses, but then the blue piece of paper caught my eye. I opened it up and here were these words:
When you pass through the water
He will be with you
When you pass through the rivers
They will never overflow
When you walk through the fire
The flames will not burn you
For He is the Lord your God.
He will lead the blind
In a way they cannot see now
In paths they do not know
He will lead them
He will cut through the darkness
And He'll shine the light before them
He will smite the rugged places
And smooth them into plains
These are the things He will do
He will not leave them undone
These are the things He will do
For He is the Lord
He is the Holy One
When you walk through the valley
He will walk beside you
When the wind blows against you
He will be your shield
Who shall you fear?
When God is on your side
He is the Lord your God.
The line, "When you pass through the rivers, they will not overflow" really caught my eye. Even though I am feeling drained and want to throw in the towel in some regard, God knows what He's doing. He has my back. He doesn't give me more than I can handle...and He won't let this overflow. Such a good reminder.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Quotes and Thoughts...
Being a studious well, student...I was working on my last directive homework tonight at a coffee shop in downtown Auckland with two good friends.It was such a neat little experience. I love the feel of an internet cafe and this one had a very "homey" feeling to it. So back to the assignment...I've been dreading doing this last assignment just because it's so much reading and sorry,but I wasn't keen to do it...so I've kind of put it off until two weeks before it was due.
I know what some of you are thinking, "you have plenty of time!" Well, I'm not a procrastinator, so this is pretty bad for me. Anyways, I drank my flat white (their normal coffee over here) at 10:15 pm (bad idea because now I'm still wide awake and it's 1 am) and sat down with my computer and book in hand.
So, I opened the book with the thought that "Ugh,I just have to get this done." Little did I know what treasures I would find...I'm doing my directive on the book of Romans, so I've had to read through the book of Romans several times and do some written work for it as well.This is a quote that really got me thinking...I'm wondering what your thoughts are on the subject.
“The obedience of Christians to the Lord who has redeemed them is vital to the gospel Paul preaches. Thus we must avoid two theological extremes: separating faith from obedience in such a way that we can have the one without the other, or identifying them in such a way that obedience is minimized.”
How would we separate faith from obedience? Don't the two go hand in hand...or shouldn't they? Is it possible to have one without the other?Is our faith ever minimized and our obedience maximized?
Another thought that was brought up was that "we grow cavalier toward our sin because we think God will simply overlook it out of his love for us in Christ."What gives us the right to think like that?How do we change that way of thinking?Better yet, how do we address this when it comes to other people?
Just some thoughts...feedback welcome.
Be blessed and be a blessing.
I know what some of you are thinking, "you have plenty of time!" Well, I'm not a procrastinator, so this is pretty bad for me. Anyways, I drank my flat white (their normal coffee over here) at 10:15 pm (bad idea because now I'm still wide awake and it's 1 am) and sat down with my computer and book in hand.
So, I opened the book with the thought that "Ugh,I just have to get this done." Little did I know what treasures I would find...I'm doing my directive on the book of Romans, so I've had to read through the book of Romans several times and do some written work for it as well.This is a quote that really got me thinking...I'm wondering what your thoughts are on the subject.
“The obedience of Christians to the Lord who has redeemed them is vital to the gospel Paul preaches. Thus we must avoid two theological extremes: separating faith from obedience in such a way that we can have the one without the other, or identifying them in such a way that obedience is minimized.”
How would we separate faith from obedience? Don't the two go hand in hand...or shouldn't they? Is it possible to have one without the other?Is our faith ever minimized and our obedience maximized?
Another thought that was brought up was that "we grow cavalier toward our sin because we think God will simply overlook it out of his love for us in Christ."What gives us the right to think like that?How do we change that way of thinking?Better yet, how do we address this when it comes to other people?
Just some thoughts...feedback welcome.
Be blessed and be a blessing.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
It's Beginning to Feel Somewhat Like Christmas
New Zealand is hot. Maine is cold. New Zealand has sand. Maine has snow. New Zealand has palm trees. Maine has pine cones. New Zealand has surfing. Maine has sledding. New Zealand has skinny Santa that wears shorts. Maine has a fat Santa who can't fit down a chimney.
Things are different here. It's Christmas, but it certainly doesn't feel like it. Well, it didn't anyway. Being able to walk outside in a shirt and pair of shorts wearing jandals just doesn't seem right when I know people back home are all freezing. I must say that I don't mind, but when it comes to Christmas,it just doesn't feel the same. It's different. Not a bad different, but just different.
So, to help get me in the Christmas spirit, I've purchased an advent calendar and today I went out and bought a Christmas tree with some decorations. Ornaments that people are sending me will be placed on this tree soon! Now that I have a Christmas tree up and I'm listening to Christmas tunes, it makes it feel like Christmas on the inside of the house even if it's 75 degrees outside of the house.
New Zealand is home. Maine is home.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
So Far Away...
I remember growing up and having my parents introduce "good music" to me. Carole King was big on the list. I remember learning lyrics that say,
"So far away. Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore.
It would be so fine to see your face at my door.
Doesn't help to know, you're just time away.
Long ago I reached for you and there you stood.
Holding you again could only do me good.
How I wish I could, but you're so far away."
Some of you are reading this and thinking, "Oh geez, Heidi's cracked. She's homesick." I wouldn't say that I'm homesick, it's just different to have had Thanksgiving pass and to have a different family around me (one that I am extremely grateful for) and to head into Christmas. I'm going to be honest...it does not feel like Christmas. There's no snow, there are barely Christmas lights, I don't have a tree, I don't have a radio to hear Christmas music, and people here just celebrate completely different. So, I miss coming home from uni and having the house all decked out and digging through ornaments that I've made since I was about four years old.
However, I realize that I can either look at this negatively or be encouraged and challenged by it and look at it with a positive attitude. Which do you think I'm doing? I mean, honestly...I'm on the opposite side of the world learning how to celebrate in a different way. Jesus is still the same no matter which side of the equator I'm on. And when I go through those "I miss familiarity. I miss friends. I miss family." moments, I turn to the verse that I just found the other day. Acts 17:27 "He is not far from any of us." That's so true. No matter where you end up in your lifetime or who you're with...He isn't far from any of us. Any.That's amazing to me. What a promise.Thank You, Lord.
"So far away. Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore.
It would be so fine to see your face at my door.
Doesn't help to know, you're just time away.
Long ago I reached for you and there you stood.
Holding you again could only do me good.
How I wish I could, but you're so far away."
Some of you are reading this and thinking, "Oh geez, Heidi's cracked. She's homesick." I wouldn't say that I'm homesick, it's just different to have had Thanksgiving pass and to have a different family around me (one that I am extremely grateful for) and to head into Christmas. I'm going to be honest...it does not feel like Christmas. There's no snow, there are barely Christmas lights, I don't have a tree, I don't have a radio to hear Christmas music, and people here just celebrate completely different. So, I miss coming home from uni and having the house all decked out and digging through ornaments that I've made since I was about four years old.
However, I realize that I can either look at this negatively or be encouraged and challenged by it and look at it with a positive attitude. Which do you think I'm doing? I mean, honestly...I'm on the opposite side of the world learning how to celebrate in a different way. Jesus is still the same no matter which side of the equator I'm on. And when I go through those "I miss familiarity. I miss friends. I miss family." moments, I turn to the verse that I just found the other day. Acts 17:27 "He is not far from any of us." That's so true. No matter where you end up in your lifetime or who you're with...He isn't far from any of us. Any.That's amazing to me. What a promise.Thank You, Lord.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Adaptation or Abandoment?
Something that I’m finding interesting and picking up on more and more is the difference in language. Having grown up in a Christian family, I realize that a lot of my morals are based on what my parents taught me and how I was brought up. Growing up, my parents told me not to drink, do drugs, have sex, and use profanity. Swearing in my family was a definite no-no.
In high school, people knew that I didn’t party and that I didn’t swear. If you were to ask someone that I went to high school with about me, I would guarantee that they would say something about me being the “Christian girl” or the “goody two shoes.” I took pride in the fact that people knew what I stood for.
Coming to a different culture, I obviously encounter differences in language or even in meaning. Growing up with swearing not being allowed or looked at really negatively, I never would have dreamt to swear, especially not in front of a complete stranger. Each week, I help out with a Christian after school program called “Champions.” It runs from 2-5 pm on Thursday afternoons.
Today I was in charge of making the sandwiches (using three loaves of bread), cutting ten apples, cutting ten oranges, and making four bottles of juice. I had made Marmite sandwiches, which are disgusting, but I had to make them. The senior pastor’s son, Joshua, came up and grabbed a Marmite sandwich, and came up to me and said, “Why does this Marmite sandwich taste like ass?” I had to turn my head and ask him what he just said and he said it all over again.
I’m so blown away that profanity is acceptable here, even from a nine-year old, but in the States, in a Christian household it would be deemed unacceptable.
Why is that? What’s changed from culture to culture? What makes things acceptable here that are unacceptable back home? How do I determine what’s right and wrong to me while I’m here. If I’m to adapt to the culture, does that mean that I should include profanity because they don’t think that it’s wrong at all? Where do we draw the line from adaptation or abandonment of all that we’ve come to know and make our own?
In high school, people knew that I didn’t party and that I didn’t swear. If you were to ask someone that I went to high school with about me, I would guarantee that they would say something about me being the “Christian girl” or the “goody two shoes.” I took pride in the fact that people knew what I stood for.
Coming to a different culture, I obviously encounter differences in language or even in meaning. Growing up with swearing not being allowed or looked at really negatively, I never would have dreamt to swear, especially not in front of a complete stranger. Each week, I help out with a Christian after school program called “Champions.” It runs from 2-5 pm on Thursday afternoons.
Today I was in charge of making the sandwiches (using three loaves of bread), cutting ten apples, cutting ten oranges, and making four bottles of juice. I had made Marmite sandwiches, which are disgusting, but I had to make them. The senior pastor’s son, Joshua, came up and grabbed a Marmite sandwich, and came up to me and said, “Why does this Marmite sandwich taste like ass?” I had to turn my head and ask him what he just said and he said it all over again.
I’m so blown away that profanity is acceptable here, even from a nine-year old, but in the States, in a Christian household it would be deemed unacceptable.
Why is that? What’s changed from culture to culture? What makes things acceptable here that are unacceptable back home? How do I determine what’s right and wrong to me while I’m here. If I’m to adapt to the culture, does that mean that I should include profanity because they don’t think that it’s wrong at all? Where do we draw the line from adaptation or abandonment of all that we’ve come to know and make our own?
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Thoughts...
It's awesome to see God move.What's even more awesome is to have God use you.
I've had quite the interesting week...I've taken this week to really get to know myself.I find that I'm constantly going and I had forgotten to take time to just sit and be still or even do something that I actually enjoy doing just for myself...so, I've been doing that and I must say that I've really been able to get to know myself that much more.Sometimes it can be a really scary process, but it helped me to think through some things and to also evaluate how I interact with other people.
Throughout the week, I've had several thoughts, both positive and negative, run through my mind...about if God was using me here, how He was using me here, what He had to teach me through certain circumstances, and if I was willing to listen and learn.Throughout the week, I've had people come into my path.I'm thankful that God puts people right in my path exactly when I need them...to either comfort, encourage, challenge, or just tell me when I'm being an idiot.So, thanks!
Be blessed and be a blessing.
I've had quite the interesting week...I've taken this week to really get to know myself.I find that I'm constantly going and I had forgotten to take time to just sit and be still or even do something that I actually enjoy doing just for myself...so, I've been doing that and I must say that I've really been able to get to know myself that much more.Sometimes it can be a really scary process, but it helped me to think through some things and to also evaluate how I interact with other people.
Throughout the week, I've had several thoughts, both positive and negative, run through my mind...about if God was using me here, how He was using me here, what He had to teach me through certain circumstances, and if I was willing to listen and learn.Throughout the week, I've had people come into my path.I'm thankful that God puts people right in my path exactly when I need them...to either comfort, encourage, challenge, or just tell me when I'm being an idiot.So, thanks!
Be blessed and be a blessing.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Tough Question
Last week I sat down with one of my mentors over here and he asked me a bunch of different questions, but one question that really stirred in my heart and head was, "When you leave, what do you want people to say about you?" What a wake up call.I mean,sure I've thought about it...who hasn't. When you meet someone new, you want to know what kind of impression you've made on them.
I sat there for a little bit just soaking in that question that he had asked. What DO I want people to say about me?I thought back to this guy Billy Borden.At a young age, Billy said, "I'm going to give my life to prepare for the mission field." His friends thought that he was crazy to give his life away to be a missionary,but he still pursued it. Billy entered college/uni already more spiritually mature than others. During his college years, Billy made one entry in his personal journal that defined what his classmates were seeing in him: "Say 'no' to self and 'yes' to Jesus every time."
Wow.Billy wrote 6 words at the back of his Bible: "No reserves. No retreats. No regrets." Billy left his inheritance (over a million dollars) to become a missionary (no reserves), after graduating college, he turned down several high paying job opportunities (no retreats), then he left for China to work with Muslims, but stopped in Egypt to study Arabic. While there, he contracted spinal meningitis. Within a month, 25 year old Bill Borden was dead.
What an example. So...back to that question of what I want people to say about me when I'm gone...I want them to say that they saw Jesus in me, that I didn't hold back, that I loved people to my capacity, that I was selfless, and that I provided hope to someone.
What about you...what do you want people to say about you?
I sat there for a little bit just soaking in that question that he had asked. What DO I want people to say about me?I thought back to this guy Billy Borden.At a young age, Billy said, "I'm going to give my life to prepare for the mission field." His friends thought that he was crazy to give his life away to be a missionary,but he still pursued it. Billy entered college/uni already more spiritually mature than others. During his college years, Billy made one entry in his personal journal that defined what his classmates were seeing in him: "Say 'no' to self and 'yes' to Jesus every time."
Wow.Billy wrote 6 words at the back of his Bible: "No reserves. No retreats. No regrets." Billy left his inheritance (over a million dollars) to become a missionary (no reserves), after graduating college, he turned down several high paying job opportunities (no retreats), then he left for China to work with Muslims, but stopped in Egypt to study Arabic. While there, he contracted spinal meningitis. Within a month, 25 year old Bill Borden was dead.
What an example. So...back to that question of what I want people to say about me when I'm gone...I want them to say that they saw Jesus in me, that I didn't hold back, that I loved people to my capacity, that I was selfless, and that I provided hope to someone.
What about you...what do you want people to say about you?
Sunday, November 16, 2008
We're Not in Kansas Anymore...
I know that some of my readers are wondering just exactly I'm doing here in New Zealand...and I ask myself that same question at times, but God is so quick to remind me what I am doing here...
New Zealand. This place certainly wasn't on the top of my list for places to visit, but since being here I'm wondering why it was never really an option.You see, at school, studying Global Ministry (ministering overseas), I had to go on a 5-6 month internship somewhere overseas...go figure.So, I naturally wanted to go to some place like Swaziland and help with AIDS relief and just show people the love of Jesus. I hate how people treat those with AIDS as if they are the disease, rather than they just have a disease. There's a big difference there.
Anyways,my uni really likes when Global Majors go in partners on their internship, but again, I was dead set against that...I knew that if I went with someone else, then I wouldn't grow as much and I would somehow "cling" to them and hold myself back from what God wanted me to do...so, I was going by myself...that's the end of that.Then, I couldn't find a place to go...at all.I wanted to go someplace where they didn't speak English and where I would be stretched to the max...and then I ended up with New Zealand.
However, I was totally wrong...New Zealand is such a mission field. Yes, they speak English and yes, their culture is similar to the States...but this is such a mission field. When I walk in the mall and see people's faces, they look so sad and lost...they don't know the truth because it isn't well portrayed here.People honestly don't grasp the concept of church.
In the states, you wouldn't hold something on a Sunday because you would know that you wouldn't get a lot of people to come out to it, but here...they plan everything on Sundays, which makes those that attend church miss out on community activities and has them make a choice between church and activities.
Where this may not look like the "typical misisonary field," it is totally a mission field. I was skeptical at first, but with my living situation, with the teens that I work with, with the young adults that I'm coming in contact with...they need Jesus just as much as any other place in the world. This may seem like the "duh" answer, but it's clicking into my head. I guess you could say that I'm learning.
Be blessed and be a blessing.
New Zealand. This place certainly wasn't on the top of my list for places to visit, but since being here I'm wondering why it was never really an option.You see, at school, studying Global Ministry (ministering overseas), I had to go on a 5-6 month internship somewhere overseas...go figure.So, I naturally wanted to go to some place like Swaziland and help with AIDS relief and just show people the love of Jesus. I hate how people treat those with AIDS as if they are the disease, rather than they just have a disease. There's a big difference there.
Anyways,my uni really likes when Global Majors go in partners on their internship, but again, I was dead set against that...I knew that if I went with someone else, then I wouldn't grow as much and I would somehow "cling" to them and hold myself back from what God wanted me to do...so, I was going by myself...that's the end of that.Then, I couldn't find a place to go...at all.I wanted to go someplace where they didn't speak English and where I would be stretched to the max...and then I ended up with New Zealand.
However, I was totally wrong...New Zealand is such a mission field. Yes, they speak English and yes, their culture is similar to the States...but this is such a mission field. When I walk in the mall and see people's faces, they look so sad and lost...they don't know the truth because it isn't well portrayed here.People honestly don't grasp the concept of church.
In the states, you wouldn't hold something on a Sunday because you would know that you wouldn't get a lot of people to come out to it, but here...they plan everything on Sundays, which makes those that attend church miss out on community activities and has them make a choice between church and activities.
Where this may not look like the "typical misisonary field," it is totally a mission field. I was skeptical at first, but with my living situation, with the teens that I work with, with the young adults that I'm coming in contact with...they need Jesus just as much as any other place in the world. This may seem like the "duh" answer, but it's clicking into my head. I guess you could say that I'm learning.
Be blessed and be a blessing.
Absence Does What Again?
One of my good high school friends said that he missed me the other day...and I said, "Why is it that our friendship is stronger when we're so far apart?" To which he replied, "I think it's because, as cliche as it sounds, absence makes the heart grow fonder."I can't help but think that is such a geeky phrase...
Being a true geek, I looked up the word "fond" in the dictionary and it says: "cherished with strong or unreasoning feeling." I really like this definition because it rings true to how my heart is feeling at this moment. Being so far away from the people that I love has made me cherish the time that I speak with them that much more...and when I see their faces in pictures or on skype, I cherish that (in case you guys didn't know that).Since being here for two months, each of my closest friends have gone through something major. When things like that happen, I automatically want to be there.I've looked up plane tickets when two of my best friends lost their grandfathers...sad to say, it was just too expensive.
I think my problem stems from the whole "control" thing.I want control over things, especially where I am and who I can be with...but God has a different agenda...imagine that.I don't understand Him sometimes...why when my friends are going through really difficult times, do I have to be away from them?This is the typical "my heart is there, but my body isn't." My best friends in the States and in England are so worth it to me...I want to be there through everything...but I just can't. My heart is there,but my body isn't.
Is that fair though?By me thinking that way, am I taking too much of my heart away from being here...I have to be cautious of that...I wish I were a superhero that could be in two places at once...that would solve a lot of problems.
Through this, God teaches me yet another lesson...imagine that...He's teaching me that although I want to be there for my best friends through the pain and sorrow,I can't physically be there.I have to rely on God to take care of them and provide the comfort that I can't physically give. That's really tough for someone who is as stubborn as I am.I'm learning and growing more and more...
Don't wait for people to be absent to grow fond of them.
Being a true geek, I looked up the word "fond" in the dictionary and it says: "cherished with strong or unreasoning feeling." I really like this definition because it rings true to how my heart is feeling at this moment. Being so far away from the people that I love has made me cherish the time that I speak with them that much more...and when I see their faces in pictures or on skype, I cherish that (in case you guys didn't know that).Since being here for two months, each of my closest friends have gone through something major. When things like that happen, I automatically want to be there.I've looked up plane tickets when two of my best friends lost their grandfathers...sad to say, it was just too expensive.
I think my problem stems from the whole "control" thing.I want control over things, especially where I am and who I can be with...but God has a different agenda...imagine that.I don't understand Him sometimes...why when my friends are going through really difficult times, do I have to be away from them?This is the typical "my heart is there, but my body isn't." My best friends in the States and in England are so worth it to me...I want to be there through everything...but I just can't. My heart is there,but my body isn't.
Is that fair though?By me thinking that way, am I taking too much of my heart away from being here...I have to be cautious of that...I wish I were a superhero that could be in two places at once...that would solve a lot of problems.
Through this, God teaches me yet another lesson...imagine that...He's teaching me that although I want to be there for my best friends through the pain and sorrow,I can't physically be there.I have to rely on God to take care of them and provide the comfort that I can't physically give. That's really tough for someone who is as stubborn as I am.I'm learning and growing more and more...
Don't wait for people to be absent to grow fond of them.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Choices
Over the past three days,I've had some really interesting conversations. It's somewhat bizarre to me how I could have similar conversations/circumstances happen, but have them be around compeletely different people. These thoughts have pertained to things such as alcohol consumption, profanity, and just the morality in someone's life. Where do our morals come from?
I know that most people would say, "well,you learn morals from your parents." How true is that?I remember growing up and hearing this phrase: "It's not okay to do drugs. It's not okay to drink. It's not okay to have sex."So what did I do? I stayed away from all of those things because it was engrained in me that they were wrong. And though I still manage to find hurt, I don't intentionally go out seeking for it...so I stayed away from those scenes.
If a person hasn't been brought up like that or with loving parents, where do they learn their morals from? In such an immoral world, can we say that we get "morals" from the world? How much do we let people influence us? Where do you draw the line? How close is too close? Is there a certain level of "liberal" thinking that a Christian should have...or we will continue to be classified as "conservative Christians" that can't think outside the box. I've had someone say that to me...it's not just coming out of nowhere.
I love the fact that I'm changing...for real.
Something that I've thought about is that in every new experience that I'm in...I change. A part of me changes...develops into a hopefully better person.So, when I leave that new experience and return home, I've changed,but other people haven't or I may feel that they can't relate to me. So...it's almost presented me with a fear..thinking that I have to keep in close contact with people(granted I want to anyway) because I want them to be able to relate to me when I go back home...
I guess what it boils down to is that we are each presented with a choice.A choice of who will impact our lives...people come and people go, but it's up to us if we want their influence to do just that...influence our lives.Will hanging out with "this type" of people make me a better person or will it hinder me? Do people hinder?
Thoughts are welcome.
Be blessed and be a blessing.
I know that most people would say, "well,you learn morals from your parents." How true is that?I remember growing up and hearing this phrase: "It's not okay to do drugs. It's not okay to drink. It's not okay to have sex."So what did I do? I stayed away from all of those things because it was engrained in me that they were wrong. And though I still manage to find hurt, I don't intentionally go out seeking for it...so I stayed away from those scenes.
If a person hasn't been brought up like that or with loving parents, where do they learn their morals from? In such an immoral world, can we say that we get "morals" from the world? How much do we let people influence us? Where do you draw the line? How close is too close? Is there a certain level of "liberal" thinking that a Christian should have...or we will continue to be classified as "conservative Christians" that can't think outside the box. I've had someone say that to me...it's not just coming out of nowhere.
I love the fact that I'm changing...for real.
Something that I've thought about is that in every new experience that I'm in...I change. A part of me changes...develops into a hopefully better person.So, when I leave that new experience and return home, I've changed,but other people haven't or I may feel that they can't relate to me. So...it's almost presented me with a fear..thinking that I have to keep in close contact with people(granted I want to anyway) because I want them to be able to relate to me when I go back home...
I guess what it boils down to is that we are each presented with a choice.A choice of who will impact our lives...people come and people go, but it's up to us if we want their influence to do just that...influence our lives.Will hanging out with "this type" of people make me a better person or will it hinder me? Do people hinder?
Thoughts are welcome.
Be blessed and be a blessing.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Differences...
So, obviously when you enter a different culture there will be differences. I've been here for two months and I'm starting to catch on to some of the differences and discovering new ones every day. My housemates often laugh at the way that I say things or wonder what I mean by a certain phrase that I say...who knew that Heidi was so complex?I like that...hah.
Here's a few:
*Flip flops=Jandals
*Sweet/Awesome= "Sweet as" I would often stand there and expect them to continue to say something, but nope..it's just "sweet as." You may think "Sweet as what?"...just "Sweet as"
*Friend=Mate
*Profanity is A-OK here...that's different.I won't go into detail on those words :)
*Grilled Cheese=Toastie
*They're used to eating spaghetti in a can and not actually making it...weird...at least my flatmates.
*The word "jerk" is a big insult here.
*Q-tips=Cotton Buds (I was so confused when I first went to find them)
*No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service=Barefeet are typical...and they come with grass stains...ew.
*Laundry=it's very uncommon to see dryers in households because it's so expensive, so drying racks and hanging clothes outside are in.It takes at least two days to do laundry.
*French Fries=Chips
*House at the camp=Bach (house at the beach...pronounced "Batch)
*Cookie=Biscuit
*Trunk to a car=Boot
*Woods=Forest or Bush
*Parking Lot=Car park
*Candy=Lollies
*Rice Krispies=Rice Bubbles
*Tired/Exhausted=Knackered,fagged out
These are just a few of the differences in language.It may not be learning a totally different language, but there are so many differences and they speak quickly...so it's challenging depending on how fast the person is speaking.
Enjoy!
Be blessed and be a blessing.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Remember Remember the Fifth of November
Each culture has different traditions.Last week, Americans carved pumpkins...and in New Zealand today, we're celebrating Guy Fawkes day.Some of you may be asking, who is Guy Fawkes? Well,I'll glady share about this odd character.
Guy Fawkes was a part of the English Roman Catholic revolutionaries who planned to carry out the "gunpowder plot."This plot was an attempt by a group of religious conspirators to kill King James I of England, his family, and most of the aristocracy by blowing up the House of Lords in the Palce of Westminster during the State Opening of Parliament.Essentially, this guy, Guy Fawkes, (haha) was going to blow up Parliament.
The plotters realised that no outside help would be forthcoming unless they took action themselves. Fawkes and the other conspirators rented a cellar beneath the House of Lords having first tried to dig a tunnel under the building. This would have proved difficult, because they would have had to dispose of the dirt and debris. (No evidence of this tunnel has ever been found). By March 1605, they had hidden 1800 pounds of gunpowder in the cellar. Pretty brilliant.
One of the conspirators wrote a warning letter to Lord Monteagle, who received it on October 26th. The conspirators became aware of the letter the following day, but they resolved to continue the plot after Fawkes had confirmed that nothing had been touched in the cellar.So, the Lord began to search the cellar on November 5th.However, nothing was moved, in order not to alert the conspirators that the plot had been uncovered. Fawkes, who was resolved to blow himself up along with Parliament if need be, was seized as he attempted to ignite the powder charge. Peter Heywood, snatched the torch from his hand at the last instant. Fawkes was arrested and taken before the privy council where he remained defiant. When asked by one of the Scottish lords what he had intended to do with so much gunpowder, Fawkes answered him, "To blow you Scotch beggars back to your own native mountains!"
So, now, countries who have British roots, celebrate this man who was wanting to blow up Parliament, but was instead tortured for days and then hung. So what do they do? They have massive bonfires and set off fireworks in honor of Guy Fawkes. Weird, eh?
Many popular contemporary verses were written in condemnation of Fawkes. The most well-known verse begins:
“Remember, remember the fifth of November,
The gunpowder, treason and plot,
I know of no reason
Why the gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.”
So remember the fifth of November.
P.S. V for Vendetta is about Guy Fawkes.
Guy Fawkes was a part of the English Roman Catholic revolutionaries who planned to carry out the "gunpowder plot."This plot was an attempt by a group of religious conspirators to kill King James I of England, his family, and most of the aristocracy by blowing up the House of Lords in the Palce of Westminster during the State Opening of Parliament.Essentially, this guy, Guy Fawkes, (haha) was going to blow up Parliament.
The plotters realised that no outside help would be forthcoming unless they took action themselves. Fawkes and the other conspirators rented a cellar beneath the House of Lords having first tried to dig a tunnel under the building. This would have proved difficult, because they would have had to dispose of the dirt and debris. (No evidence of this tunnel has ever been found). By March 1605, they had hidden 1800 pounds of gunpowder in the cellar. Pretty brilliant.One of the conspirators wrote a warning letter to Lord Monteagle, who received it on October 26th. The conspirators became aware of the letter the following day, but they resolved to continue the plot after Fawkes had confirmed that nothing had been touched in the cellar.So, the Lord began to search the cellar on November 5th.However, nothing was moved, in order not to alert the conspirators that the plot had been uncovered. Fawkes, who was resolved to blow himself up along with Parliament if need be, was seized as he attempted to ignite the powder charge. Peter Heywood, snatched the torch from his hand at the last instant. Fawkes was arrested and taken before the privy council where he remained defiant. When asked by one of the Scottish lords what he had intended to do with so much gunpowder, Fawkes answered him, "To blow you Scotch beggars back to your own native mountains!"
So, now, countries who have British roots, celebrate this man who was wanting to blow up Parliament, but was instead tortured for days and then hung. So what do they do? They have massive bonfires and set off fireworks in honor of Guy Fawkes. Weird, eh?
Many popular contemporary verses were written in condemnation of Fawkes. The most well-known verse begins:
“Remember, remember the fifth of November,
The gunpowder, treason and plot,
I know of no reason
Why the gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.”
So remember the fifth of November.
P.S. V for Vendetta is about Guy Fawkes.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Don't Settle
"Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed."Proverbs 16:3
Today, I had the opportunity to talk with two of my good friends back home.One of them shared with me this verse and I have to say, I've fallen in love with it.
I tried to break it down. "Commit to the Lord whatever you do." Done...er, wait...everything? Everything I do I have to commit to the Lord?Hmm...even cleaning?Dang...when I think about everything that I do and commiting it all to the Lord...would it honor Him or would it hurt Him?Dang...wake up call.
The second half of the verse is quite powerful as well... "and your plans will succeed." So, let me get this straight, if I commit everything that I do to the Lord, then my plans will succeed? Does that mean the plans that I commit or "whatever I do?" Does that mean that when I commit everything to God...my speech, my actions, my heart..then he'll make my plans succeed and does that mean that until I do those things, then my plans won't succeed?It seems like such a simple verse, but when you try to get at the core, there's so much more truth behind it.Intense.
Can I be honest?I hate it when people settle.Not "settle down," but when they cut short the things that they can do with their lives. They stay at home and live with their parents, they don't go to uni, they don't do things that will better themselves and further their trust and faith in God. It absolutely drives me nuts when I hear how people settle for second best. They settle for what's comfortable...but it says right here, "Commit whatever you do and your plans will succeed." So...stop being scared of taking a leap of faith for Christ.That's something that I am constantly reminding myself of.
Leap.Get uncomfortable.Put yourself in a position where you're petrified...and God will blow your mind.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Clumsy
I already know what my parents are thinking, "Heidi's hurt herself again," but rest assured that I have not. I have however come across something else...
I've always been very clumsy...especially when it comes to my ankles.I've had one ankle surgery already and I injured my other ankle quite badly this past summer...so my ankles pretty much are a mess.
Because I have such bad ankles, it hurts very badly to be in the kneeling position and trying to sit on them.It makes them be at an awkward angle..haha ankle angle (sorry...lame).So, with that problem, it only allows me a few minutes before I'm in thriving pain in both of my ankles.It used to be just one, but since the last injury,it's now both.
This is so frustrating.I just want to kneel before the Lord, but I physically can't. It hurts far too much.I'm going to be praying that God would heal the interior of my ankles and make it pain-free for me to kneel.Please keep me in your prayers as this is a way that I want to worship God and physically can't.
That's what I get for being clumsy.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
The Cry of my Heart
Abba Father,
I don't know where to start.My heart is full...full of joy, full of happiness, full of thankfulness, full of gratitude, full of adventure, full of excitement.God, I know that You have placed me here for a purpose...and though that purpose may not be entirely clear to me right now, I will not lose hope that I am here to help transform lives...even if it's in the smallest way possible.
God,I cry out to you for help.I want to be a woman of God that has rough knees.Please give me more of a servant's heart.Help me to be selfless for You and that when I do serve people that I give You all the glory and honor and praise for it.God, people need to know what real love is in a world where all they've known are lies.Help me to show them real love.Help me to be bold when I'm scared.Help me to be daring when I'm frightened.Help me acknowledge Your work more and more each day.Help me to be positive when I feel like failure.Help me to find my self worth in You and not in what man tells me.Where I could see a negative thing, help me to see something beautiful.
Rid me of myself and make me fall at Your feet.You are so holy.That word amazes me and doesn't even do justice to how huge You are to me.Help me to feel Your presence wherever I am.Help me to love when it's uncomfortable.Be my comfort when I'm hurting.Be my source for wisdom.Be my passion when I've lost it.Be my smile when I am sad.Be my arms when someone needs a hug.Be my Dad when mine is miles away.Be my hope in a hopeless world.Be my laughter when people have forgotten how to laugh.Fill me up when I am dry.Be my heart, God.Help me to love without needing/wanting anything in return.Help me to be a blessing to those around me.
Make me selfless.
"Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground. For your name's sake, O Lord, preserve my life; in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble. In your unfailing love, silence my enemies; destroy all my foes, for I am your servant." (Ps. 143)
I don't know where to start.My heart is full...full of joy, full of happiness, full of thankfulness, full of gratitude, full of adventure, full of excitement.God, I know that You have placed me here for a purpose...and though that purpose may not be entirely clear to me right now, I will not lose hope that I am here to help transform lives...even if it's in the smallest way possible.
God,I cry out to you for help.I want to be a woman of God that has rough knees.Please give me more of a servant's heart.Help me to be selfless for You and that when I do serve people that I give You all the glory and honor and praise for it.God, people need to know what real love is in a world where all they've known are lies.Help me to show them real love.Help me to be bold when I'm scared.Help me to be daring when I'm frightened.Help me acknowledge Your work more and more each day.Help me to be positive when I feel like failure.Help me to find my self worth in You and not in what man tells me.Where I could see a negative thing, help me to see something beautiful.
Rid me of myself and make me fall at Your feet.You are so holy.That word amazes me and doesn't even do justice to how huge You are to me.Help me to feel Your presence wherever I am.Help me to love when it's uncomfortable.Be my comfort when I'm hurting.Be my source for wisdom.Be my passion when I've lost it.Be my smile when I am sad.Be my arms when someone needs a hug.Be my Dad when mine is miles away.Be my hope in a hopeless world.Be my laughter when people have forgotten how to laugh.Fill me up when I am dry.Be my heart, God.Help me to love without needing/wanting anything in return.Help me to be a blessing to those around me.
Make me selfless.
"Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground. For your name's sake, O Lord, preserve my life; in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble. In your unfailing love, silence my enemies; destroy all my foes, for I am your servant." (Ps. 143)
Saturday, October 25, 2008
How to Save a Life
Now,I'm not "The Fray," but I learned how to save a life today.Today is Sunday in kiwiland...and I had gone out for a meeting after church and didn't make it home until about 3 pm.So, I put my key in the door and walk in.Then,I hear it...something struggling.
I turned to my left and I see this bird flying around my living room.I instantly panicked.I went back outside and closed the door."What the heck am I going to do?"is what I thought.So, I thought to myself that I wasn't going to be intimidated by a bird(though clearly I was), so I went back inside the house.I tried to think of how this bird managed to get into our house without one of us noticing.
All of my flatmates were gone, so then I thought that it was a pretty sweet prank to pull,but I was worried when I saw the bird landing on my fresh clean laundry that it would poop on it...so I panicked yet again.Okay, think Heidi...how do you get this thing out.It kept running into the windows, so I wasn't about to go over there to try and open them.So,I do what any girl does...I call a guy...however, this guy doesn't pick up his phone.So, then I do what any girl would do next: call another guy...but there again was no answer.So, I call Rachel and she talks me through it.
I was in rare form.I was literally dodging my head and trying to make it go in my sweater for fear of the bird pooping on me or pecking out my eyes (thanks to a scary story told to me by one of my friends).The doors wouldn't open...awesome.I struggled for a bit, but finally the latch opened and I stood back waiting for the bird to leave.Instead of going out the door, it flew into the window again...then it got some brains (I honestly don't know how it had any left after running into the window that many times) and it flew out.
I saved a life...a bird's life.Is it dorky if I thought spiritually about this?Cause I did...we are a lot like birds...constantly looking for a way out, feeling trapped...but we're too stupid to look to the obvious answer (God), so we keep running into obstacles that get us no where (windows).Think about that for a moment.
Be blessed and be a blessing...save a bird's life.
I turned to my left and I see this bird flying around my living room.I instantly panicked.I went back outside and closed the door."What the heck am I going to do?"is what I thought.So, I thought to myself that I wasn't going to be intimidated by a bird(though clearly I was), so I went back inside the house.I tried to think of how this bird managed to get into our house without one of us noticing.
All of my flatmates were gone, so then I thought that it was a pretty sweet prank to pull,but I was worried when I saw the bird landing on my fresh clean laundry that it would poop on it...so I panicked yet again.Okay, think Heidi...how do you get this thing out.It kept running into the windows, so I wasn't about to go over there to try and open them.So,I do what any girl does...I call a guy...however, this guy doesn't pick up his phone.So, then I do what any girl would do next: call another guy...but there again was no answer.So, I call Rachel and she talks me through it.
I was in rare form.I was literally dodging my head and trying to make it go in my sweater for fear of the bird pooping on me or pecking out my eyes (thanks to a scary story told to me by one of my friends).The doors wouldn't open...awesome.I struggled for a bit, but finally the latch opened and I stood back waiting for the bird to leave.Instead of going out the door, it flew into the window again...then it got some brains (I honestly don't know how it had any left after running into the window that many times) and it flew out.
I saved a life...a bird's life.Is it dorky if I thought spiritually about this?Cause I did...we are a lot like birds...constantly looking for a way out, feeling trapped...but we're too stupid to look to the obvious answer (God), so we keep running into obstacles that get us no where (windows).Think about that for a moment.
Be blessed and be a blessing...save a bird's life.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Namaste
My third year of college (uni), I had to do an assignment that has forever changed the way that I view the world.I had to do an ethnography for cultural anthropology.I had to sit in one location for a total of six hours over a span of six weeks.Actually in the process, I was kicked out of Wal*Mart (ask for details if you really want to know). Essentially I had to watch people. I had to watch their habits, reactions, expressions, how they treated others, their looks, and write down my observations.
I felt somewhat creepy at the time...watching people left and right and then jotting down notes along the way.I remember going into malls when I was in high school and being creeped out by the old men that would sit in the big circle area (you know what I'm talking about) and they would just stare.I didn't want people to think that was me, as a twenty year old...gross.
So, now two years later...I'm stuck doing an ethnography everywhere I go.I am constantly observing people and how they act and it actually makes me check how I act/react.Want to know where you can see the true colors of a person? A traffic jam.I've experienced plentyyyy of those since being here...I always manage to get stuck in them.
Last week,I was stuck in traffic and this guy in a red truck was beside me and he started cursing at me...for no reason.I wasn't doing anything wrong,but this guy for some reason was ticked at me.True colors shown through...
It made me conscious that people watch you and come up with an opinion of who you are in just a matter of seconds or minutes.When people watch me, do they see Jesus in me or a woman of poor character?While reading Coffee News, this wise thought came up: "You never get a second chance to make a first impression." Make it a good one and know people are watching (in a non creepy way).
Be blessed and be a blessing.
I felt somewhat creepy at the time...watching people left and right and then jotting down notes along the way.I remember going into malls when I was in high school and being creeped out by the old men that would sit in the big circle area (you know what I'm talking about) and they would just stare.I didn't want people to think that was me, as a twenty year old...gross.
So, now two years later...I'm stuck doing an ethnography everywhere I go.I am constantly observing people and how they act and it actually makes me check how I act/react.Want to know where you can see the true colors of a person? A traffic jam.I've experienced plentyyyy of those since being here...I always manage to get stuck in them.
Last week,I was stuck in traffic and this guy in a red truck was beside me and he started cursing at me...for no reason.I wasn't doing anything wrong,but this guy for some reason was ticked at me.True colors shown through...
It made me conscious that people watch you and come up with an opinion of who you are in just a matter of seconds or minutes.When people watch me, do they see Jesus in me or a woman of poor character?While reading Coffee News, this wise thought came up: "You never get a second chance to make a first impression." Make it a good one and know people are watching (in a non creepy way).
Be blessed and be a blessing.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Humorous Heidi Inserts Foot
Now I know what you're all probably thinking..."Oh my!Heidi is the cutest thing in the world!" And it's totally okay to think that,but there's a bigger purpose for me sharing these oh so embarrassing photos with the world.As you can tell from the "I can make it up the stairs" and "I hate being a ladybug" face...I had quite the witty sense of humor as a child.I was generally a "smart mouth" according to my parents and my teachers would always comment on my report cards that I was very talkative.I was the kid that passed tons of notes in class and was the "class clown." That name carried on into junior high and high school.It is seriously amazing that I never got a detention. Then,the past two years at camp, I got "best sense of humor" and this year "camp clown."
I believe that humor is totally a gift from God,but depending on how we use it...man,it can ruin a good thing.Something that I've always struggled with has been my sarcasm.I'm going to be brutally honest with you...I've been mean.It wasn't until about two years ago that I truly understand how much my humor can hurt people's feelings.I try to be more and more aware of that and think before I speak so that I don't damage a friendship. Unfortunately,I have inserted my foot in my mouth on several occassions. I hate that.I hate how I have this gift from God and instead of building people up,it tears them down.
The way that I look at internship is that it's a chance for me to grow in all the areas that I need to...when it comes to ministry and also just developing a Godly character.You know what that means...accountability.Now, no one likes to be told when they've messed up...especially when they already know that they've messed up, but I so appreciate how one person in particular is so incredibly real with me.This person tells me when I hurt people and has even said "People let you get away with too much."Ouch...but in a good way.
Accountability sometimes sucks.It's not easy to hear how you need to become a better person, but something that I'm striving for is to become that better Heidi.To not be consumed by other's thoughts of me...but to be transformed by God and become the woman of God that He would have me to be...even if that means having someone tell me what I should change about myself.That's the gift of a true friend...in all honesty.Bizarre, I know,but it's true.
I don't think that God calls us to stay the same.That doesn't make any sense, but we are to become more like Christ and more effective for His mysterious ministry.This is something that I yearn for.I want to be different.I want to be stretched.I want people to identify things that I am that need to be changed.Now that doesn't mean for you all to attack me with what's wrong with me,but having a good friend identify areas that need improving...is helpful.
Be blessed and be a blessing...and watch your mouth.
Monday, October 20, 2008
what's love got to do with it?
I remember growing up how much I loved the song "Love" by Nat King Cole.I loved it (no pun intended).My favorite line was "V is very very extra ordinary." I wanted to love in an extra ordinary way...a way that was not common to others.Those words are only now really taking shape in my life.I was always the kid who would love things with my whole heart.I loved my stuffed animals.I loved my Polly Pockets.I loved my swing set. I loved my leotard.I loved baton.I loved rollar blading in the kitchen. I loved making music videos.I loved giving people hugs.I loved people.
Growing up with the mind-set that I need to love everyone/everything with my whole heart, sacrificing myself was always something that I tried to do.But as I continued to love people, I lost sight of why I was loving them.Was I doing it because it made me a better person? Was I doing it because it was how I was brought up?Was I doing it because God calls us to love?No,I was doing it for selfish reasons.Imagine that...loving others for selfish reasons.It doesn't quite make sense.
You see,as a person who loves...I get hurt a lot.I started to resent God because I couldn't understand why God would have me love people if they were just going to hurt me in the long run of things.It didn't make sense.My heart knew why I was loving people,but until I went searching, my head didn't know.
As I was preparing a sermon today, I came across this thought:
"We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home." (TWLOHA)
As a control freak, organized, structured girl, I thought that if I loved people,then they would love me in return...in the same way that I loved them.Foolish,I know,but one can dream right?Instead...I've poured myself out and gotten hurt.As I read that quote above, it finally sunk in."We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers." I am a rescuer, but I don't know the ending...and that's okay.Yes it's tough to try and understand,but I am called to love people and give them hope. It's inevitable that my heart willl get hurt.It's up to them how they will respond.And I will do just that...pour myself out again and again...as I have done for many years.
Be blessed and be a blessing.Love someone.
Growing up with the mind-set that I need to love everyone/everything with my whole heart, sacrificing myself was always something that I tried to do.But as I continued to love people, I lost sight of why I was loving them.Was I doing it because it made me a better person? Was I doing it because it was how I was brought up?Was I doing it because God calls us to love?No,I was doing it for selfish reasons.Imagine that...loving others for selfish reasons.It doesn't quite make sense.
You see,as a person who loves...I get hurt a lot.I started to resent God because I couldn't understand why God would have me love people if they were just going to hurt me in the long run of things.It didn't make sense.My heart knew why I was loving people,but until I went searching, my head didn't know.
As I was preparing a sermon today, I came across this thought:
"We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home." (TWLOHA)
As a control freak, organized, structured girl, I thought that if I loved people,then they would love me in return...in the same way that I loved them.Foolish,I know,but one can dream right?Instead...I've poured myself out and gotten hurt.As I read that quote above, it finally sunk in."We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers." I am a rescuer, but I don't know the ending...and that's okay.Yes it's tough to try and understand,but I am called to love people and give them hope. It's inevitable that my heart willl get hurt.It's up to them how they will respond.And I will do just that...pour myself out again and again...as I have done for many years.
Be blessed and be a blessing.Love someone.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
A Day of Firsts...
Have you ever come up with a list of things that you want to do in your life?It's probably something dorky to do,but I've definitely done it...and I bet you wouldn't be able to guess what one of those things was...driving a stick shift.Yeap...twenty-two years of life and I had never done that before.The closest that I had ever come was driving the four wheeler back home and let's just say that I wasn't very good at it.
In New Zealand, tons of people drive manual cars...it's actually kind of ridiculous and I felt like a loser for never knowing how to drive one...or having ever attempted to drive one.So,who decides to be brave and teach me?That's right...my friend Brent took on this challenge.We headed out this afternoon to a parking lot and he began to give me instructions.Now,I don't pay attention very well unless I'm about to do something..meaning,until I'm in the driver's seat,I won't be really soaking in anything that he was saying to me.
So there I sat...my little legs barely reaching the clutch and I started driving...it wasn't easy,but I was trying to come across as confident...as Brent laughed and I got more nervous.I didn't want to break his car or anything.So...I'm alive, I've driven in reverse, parked,stalled(a few times),and driven on the main road...yeah,that's right...be impressed.
Then it was time for our next adventure for the day.You see,I love kites.At college I would go and fly kites...at least I did my junior year.So,when I was given my car...there was a kite in the trunk,so I thought "Wow!What a great idea!"So,after my driving lesson,Brent flew a kite for the first time!He was a tad excited.We toughed it out through the lack of wind, rain, and sunshine so that you could see the picture up above...booyah.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Youth Pastor Heidi
So,something exciting happened today!For the past few days, something has been weighing heavily on my heart...and that's just my purpose for being here in New Zealand.I have such a passion for teens and a heart to see them come to know God and go deeper with Him...Being new here,I wasn't about to open up my mouth and say what I thought I should say,but I wanted to ease into the role of "the intern" and not offer too much too soon...which,honestly,was a good idea.Then I became discontent...and I knew that if I didn't speak up,that I would be hindering what God wanted me to do.
So, after talking to some people that I respect dearly, a conclusion was made.I had to talk to Pastor Mike and express my heart and passion. I hate confrontation and I was really scared that I would come across as the intern who didn't know her place.When I get nervous,I get dinosaurs in my stomach and my hands get clammy and sometimes I stutter...so I was so scared!
I spent some time in prayer last night about my approach and just that God would speak through me and that Pastor Mike would have open ears, an open mind, and an open heart to what I had to say to him.We spoke for about an hour and a half and I just shared my heart with him and what I wanted to get out of my internship and where I felt I had to be obedient to God.
I love teens.I connect with them.Last night at our Teen Bible Study (Laundromat..love it), a guy walked in and I instantly knew something was wrong and I asked him later if he wanted to talk about it and I knew exactly what was wrong.That's not just a coincidence...My heart hurts when they hurt and having some crappy teenage years,I just connect with them...and it's a crucial time.Your teenage years are when some decide to follow Christ or turn from them and I want to be there for them...I want to impact them for Christ.
After sharing my heart, Pastor Mike said, okay,let's do it.You're in charge.You're the youth pastor.Um...frightening but SO exciting!!Our first outting is tonight to go and see Tom's play...we're supporting him as a Bible study.Seriously...so good!
Be blessed and be a blessing!
Monday, October 13, 2008
Worth...where are you?
Worth.I've been battling with this word lately.I'm trying to wrap my head completely around it and I can't seem to do that because anytime that I think I have it sorted, something proves me wrong. To have worth in something means that something is of value to you.What do I put my worth in?What am I valuing?
No, us being ridiculous humans, rely on other people to make sure that we feel "worth" it. I know that I'm guilty of this and it's something that I have been struggling with since I've been here in New Zealand. I wonder if I'm worth someone's time, or if I'm just annoying them.I wonder if my friends in the US and England think I'm worth their time.If I'm worth talking to and checking up on.What makes us think that we aren't worth people's time?Better yet,why do I look to other people to feel my self-worth?I can't help but get frustrated at myself.
It's almost like I'll be struggling with this until someone grabs me by the shoulders and shakes me and says "you're worth it."I think that it has to do with self-respect.Why do I find it so much easier to respect other people, but never myself.I always find myself last on the totem pole...I constantly do things for others and aim to help those in need and put myself at the bottom of the pile. Some would call this "awesome," while others would say that it's "unhealthy." Where do we draw the line?
I know I'm rambling,but seriously...how do we know when too much is too much?How do we know when we've gone past the healthy caring point and gotten to the unhealthy caring point?Why do I find it so easy to love until it hurts...and not give up on people.
I remember talking with a friend a few years back and how he had this "damsel in distress" syndrome. You know the one...where he sees a girl that it's need...or lacking the love of Jesus that he thought she could/should have...so what would he do?He would try to fix it..but it only ended up messing up his life...literally.
Why do I constantly want to fix other people's problems?When I'm friends with someone I care until I hurt...physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally.I'm constantly going through circumstances in my mind that could better this person, which makes me forget about myself..which makes me doubt if I'm "worth it" to other people.I just want to feel like I'm worth someone's time. Worth more than just five minutes here and there.
Then another part of me says, "Heidi Genevieve...you get your worth from God." Which I know is true in my heart, but my head can't seem to grasp that.My heart is giving out to many people and wanting to feel worth in return in a sense...if that makes any sense at all.I know that my worth comes from God, but knowing that people genuinely care matters a lot too.I care about people so much and they know that...I just want that same feeling.
No, us being ridiculous humans, rely on other people to make sure that we feel "worth" it. I know that I'm guilty of this and it's something that I have been struggling with since I've been here in New Zealand. I wonder if I'm worth someone's time, or if I'm just annoying them.I wonder if my friends in the US and England think I'm worth their time.If I'm worth talking to and checking up on.What makes us think that we aren't worth people's time?Better yet,why do I look to other people to feel my self-worth?I can't help but get frustrated at myself.
It's almost like I'll be struggling with this until someone grabs me by the shoulders and shakes me and says "you're worth it."I think that it has to do with self-respect.Why do I find it so much easier to respect other people, but never myself.I always find myself last on the totem pole...I constantly do things for others and aim to help those in need and put myself at the bottom of the pile. Some would call this "awesome," while others would say that it's "unhealthy." Where do we draw the line?
I know I'm rambling,but seriously...how do we know when too much is too much?How do we know when we've gone past the healthy caring point and gotten to the unhealthy caring point?Why do I find it so easy to love until it hurts...and not give up on people.
I remember talking with a friend a few years back and how he had this "damsel in distress" syndrome. You know the one...where he sees a girl that it's need...or lacking the love of Jesus that he thought she could/should have...so what would he do?He would try to fix it..but it only ended up messing up his life...literally.
Why do I constantly want to fix other people's problems?When I'm friends with someone I care until I hurt...physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally.I'm constantly going through circumstances in my mind that could better this person, which makes me forget about myself..which makes me doubt if I'm "worth it" to other people.I just want to feel like I'm worth someone's time. Worth more than just five minutes here and there.
Then another part of me says, "Heidi Genevieve...you get your worth from God." Which I know is true in my heart, but my head can't seem to grasp that.My heart is giving out to many people and wanting to feel worth in return in a sense...if that makes any sense at all.I know that my worth comes from God, but knowing that people genuinely care matters a lot too.I care about people so much and they know that...I just want that same feeling.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Take Time to Realize...
So...ever since I was like able to stand..my dad,sister, and I had this thing that we would do every morning.Dad would leave for work and Robin and I would stand in the dining room and do "I heart you" to my dad through the window and he would sit in his car and do it back to us.We seriously did this every morning...so, when I went to Long Bay beach today...I decided to be creative and take some pictures for my family...I love you guys and miss you dearly.Dad,picture me doing this for you...well,you don't have to picture it because here are pictures for you!
I moved into my flat and have some amazing flatmates.Michelle,Sarah,and Nicole are fantastic.I am so pumped to live with them.It's already been filled with adventure...and you all know how much I love adventure!So yeah...they rock and I'm so glad to be with them.I'm excited to get to know them better and to do tons of fun things together.
My list of realizations is getting longer and longer...but it's totally healthy...at least I think so.I'm realizing so much by being here.I'm realizing who my true friends are, what kind of friends I look for,how much I need God and lack sharing myself with Him sometimes...I also realize how much time I have with people.People mean the world to me.I love them and I love spending time with people...I'm just so much better when others are around.Don't get me wrong,I love to go on adventures by myself...but having company is so much better...especially in a car that doesn't have a radio.
One tidbit of information that came to my attention today is that Shore Grace was dead set on not having anyone come to work for the church if they were only going to be there for 12 months or less...but here I am.After talking to one of the leaders of the church he said that it's just too painful...people get attached and the teens get attached...and it's just so hard to get to know someone and then the next second have them gone and you never know when or if they'll be coming back.
That hit me hard.I am so blessed.It's totally a God thing that I'm here.Here is this church that has had people come in for a few months and leave...and they weren't keen on that..but here I am.I think that we take people forgranted.We don't realize the precious time that we have with them and we assume that they'll always physically be there for us to run to.It's weird...there's someone here that I have just spilled my life to and I've known this person for three weeks...but knowing that I only have a little over four months with the people here,I want to pour myself out and get to know them as best as I can...and I hope that they can find it in themselves to do the same with me.
I feel that when we're around the same people constantly we take the time with them forgranted.At camp, I had 2.5 months to get to know people and out of the experience,I have 4 of the closest friends that I have ever had.I think it's because I knew I only had a certain amount of time with them...so I poured myself out there...and they did the same.I want that with people in New Zealand.I don't want to walk away from this experience saying, "I wish that I had done that" or "I wish I had gotten to know that person better." I'm prepared to pour and they better be ready to soak it up.
Be blessed and be a blessing.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Nearly a Kiwiacan...
As I was unpacking/decorating my new room in my flat last night...I got a phone call at 6:40 and it said "Josh." Hmm...I had to think about who Josh was.I picked up and Josh said, "Hey Heidi!It's Josh...so,last minute...but I have free tickets to the Breakers game and I'm wondering if you want to come." I had to think for a moment,then I realized who it was!!Rachel was on her way up,so I said that I'd wait for her and then we'd be right up...
Rachel and I found the place just fine and we recruited three guys that walked by and said, "It's all sold out." I said, "Hey,we have free tickets.Do you want to come?" It was a Dad and his two sons(I'm guessing).So...we were able to give away some more tickets. I hope they saw Jesus through us.
The game was down to the wire...and the Breakers lost by 9...it was craziness.I didn't think that I'd get that excited, but there I was jumping up and down whenever they scored and "booing" when the other team got fouled...or so called fouled.I must say,I made Maine proud...I felt like I was at a basketball tournament the way that I was cheering.If only I had made a sign...with a "D" and a white picket "fence." Too good!
I had the AMAZING opportunity to meet some of the Breakers dancers.It was a joke...I acted super excited,but anyone who knows me..knows that I could have cared less.I definitely pulled the "I'm from America.Can I have my picture taken with you?" They're like, "yeah honey..come on over!"It was hilarious.
Good times...I'm finally taking in some more cultural moments...and my flat is fantastic.I'll post pictures soon.
Be blessed and be a blessing.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Here.
I've had so much opportunity to think over the past few days.The Yates (pastor and family) have been away skiing for the week,so I've had the blessing of staying at their house and looking after their critters...they have three chickens, a rabbit, and a cat.I was given the task of feeding the animals..obviously...I mean,they have to eat.So, I put on some rubber boots and went out to the swamp, because it rains constantly...picture me...jeans yanked up,boots on,hoodie,and a bucket of food...I felt like the biggest moron...but I looked dang attractive (jk).So now,I'm petrified of chickens because these three not only wake me up in the morning with their squacking, but they charged after me...no joke!They're all still alive...so house-sitting was a success!
On a different note...and onto another topic.
Church planting has been something that I have had a growing passion for over the past three years and being a part of a church plant over here is such a good learning opportunity.Shore Grace is celebrating its fifth year anniversary next month,so it's still a fairly young church.God has been so good to them and they are growing and reaching more people.I however, did not understand what really went into it.At times I feel that my abilities are being held back and that I don't have enough work, but at the same time...seeing how a church plant really functions is so valuable to me.They truly are a team made up of Mike, Julia, Kerry, and Rae as the head people if you could say that.They are the core and are some of the most dedicated people that I have ever met.
One of the ways that Shore Grace does outreach is through "cafe church" where they literally hold a cafe setting at the church location. This coming Sunday, we're doing cafe church with a theological twist. We're having a discussion titled: "Faith Under Scrutiny" Does science disprove God? What of suffering and evil and different religions? Is there life after death? We're having people write down questions that they have and then they'll be asked to the panel of scholars.I'm so excited to be a part of this!
On another note...sorry...but a huge way that I am blessed is through music and one song has meant so much to me over the past week...whenever I listen to it,I just see how majestic God is.I encourage you to find it and listen to it. "Here in Your Presence" by New Life Worship.Seriously..invest in this...it's so good.Let me know what you think.
Be blessed and be a blessing.
On a different note...and onto another topic.
Church planting has been something that I have had a growing passion for over the past three years and being a part of a church plant over here is such a good learning opportunity.Shore Grace is celebrating its fifth year anniversary next month,so it's still a fairly young church.God has been so good to them and they are growing and reaching more people.I however, did not understand what really went into it.At times I feel that my abilities are being held back and that I don't have enough work, but at the same time...seeing how a church plant really functions is so valuable to me.They truly are a team made up of Mike, Julia, Kerry, and Rae as the head people if you could say that.They are the core and are some of the most dedicated people that I have ever met.
One of the ways that Shore Grace does outreach is through "cafe church" where they literally hold a cafe setting at the church location. This coming Sunday, we're doing cafe church with a theological twist. We're having a discussion titled: "Faith Under Scrutiny" Does science disprove God? What of suffering and evil and different religions? Is there life after death? We're having people write down questions that they have and then they'll be asked to the panel of scholars.I'm so excited to be a part of this!
On another note...sorry...but a huge way that I am blessed is through music and one song has meant so much to me over the past week...whenever I listen to it,I just see how majestic God is.I encourage you to find it and listen to it. "Here in Your Presence" by New Life Worship.Seriously..invest in this...it's so good.Let me know what you think.
Be blessed and be a blessing.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Reality Sets In...
So,I know that I've only written about the good stuff since I've gotten here,but I think that it's also important to be vulnerable with you guys and fill you in on how I'm feeling at this present moment.I absolutely love it here...trust me on that...but I was also warned that there would come a time where I would have a little breakdown...I would be homesick or something to that extent.
Well,I'm not homesick...I don't miss home (sorry house in Maine), but I miss the consistency that I had when I was at home.Consistent means: to be reliable; steady. Yes, I'm a geek and I looked that up...Anyways,I miss the consistency that I had when I was at home.Since being here, I've had to start all over.I didn't come in with friends (well,many) that were here and I knew that I would have to put myself out there and form friendships all over again.That can be so incredibly intimidating...so,thankfully I had some people step in and take me under their wing..which was very much appreciated.I honestly think that when I get into my flat (this Thursday/Friday),then it'll be much better!
Anyways,back to the consistency thing...I had a situation on Friday night which left me feeling like I had no consistency.I was supposed to go out,but that ended up not happening.I hate planning something,but then having those plans fall through...I've always hated when people bail on me and that's what I felt on Friday...though I know the other person didn't mean to have that happen.I wouldn't believe that's in anyone's heart to be like that...
So,I ended up sitting at home on Friday and contemplating(not something that's healthy for me..cause I think way too much)for the night...and then on Saturday,I hadn't made any plans,so I sat and thought some more.I miss my friends a lot.Three of my best friends live in England and my other two best friends live in America...it's rough to be here without them.I never really imagined how much I would miss my friends...people that know me inside and out and know what makes me happy and what makes me sad and when I just need to sit with someone and say nothing and then when I need to spill my guts.
I miss consistency.I am determined to find that here.Please know that I'm doing much better, but for the weekend I wasn't much of a fan of being around people...but I'm getting back into the swing of things.So, Mom and Dad...don't worry...I'm good...and to my consistent friends...thank you.
Be blessed and be a blessing to someone.
Well,I'm not homesick...I don't miss home (sorry house in Maine), but I miss the consistency that I had when I was at home.Consistent means: to be reliable; steady. Yes, I'm a geek and I looked that up...Anyways,I miss the consistency that I had when I was at home.Since being here, I've had to start all over.I didn't come in with friends (well,many) that were here and I knew that I would have to put myself out there and form friendships all over again.That can be so incredibly intimidating...so,thankfully I had some people step in and take me under their wing..which was very much appreciated.I honestly think that when I get into my flat (this Thursday/Friday),then it'll be much better!
Anyways,back to the consistency thing...I had a situation on Friday night which left me feeling like I had no consistency.I was supposed to go out,but that ended up not happening.I hate planning something,but then having those plans fall through...I've always hated when people bail on me and that's what I felt on Friday...though I know the other person didn't mean to have that happen.I wouldn't believe that's in anyone's heart to be like that...
So,I ended up sitting at home on Friday and contemplating(not something that's healthy for me..cause I think way too much)for the night...and then on Saturday,I hadn't made any plans,so I sat and thought some more.I miss my friends a lot.Three of my best friends live in England and my other two best friends live in America...it's rough to be here without them.I never really imagined how much I would miss my friends...people that know me inside and out and know what makes me happy and what makes me sad and when I just need to sit with someone and say nothing and then when I need to spill my guts.
I miss consistency.I am determined to find that here.Please know that I'm doing much better, but for the weekend I wasn't much of a fan of being around people...but I'm getting back into the swing of things.So, Mom and Dad...don't worry...I'm good...and to my consistent friends...thank you.
Be blessed and be a blessing to someone.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
I definitely have some wheelsssssss...
Coming to another country can provide so many amazing opportunities...obviously.One opportunity that I was so stoked about was the opportunity to drive over here.Not only do they drive on the other side of the road, but also on the other side of the car!I knew that this would be a task and I was totally up for the challenge...
So, this past Thursday my friends Jo, Rachel, and Sara came up from South Auckland and drove my car, known as "Nelson" to the Yates house. There he was...a four door gray little car. It comes equiped with no working radio and the AC only works on full blast. That's right my friends, this car has personality.Well, on Friday I set out on a journey to hang out with Rachel down south and hopped on the motorway headed into the city of Auckland. The motorway=packed.I've been in traffic jams before, but nothing compared to this one.
I was texting my friends saying that I was stuck in this massive traffic jam.Here I was,no AC and no radio...so what did I do?The one thing that any American would do...I busted out my laptop and started jamming to tunes :)I was stuck on the motorway for two hours...and moved maybe 2.5 miles.What a journey by myself...my first time driving...and I went nowhere.Pretty much a success!
Come to find out,there was a massive accident on the main bridge.A truck was going under an overpass, but had too much stuff on the top of his truck and pretty much destroyed the bridge. They had to shut down the entire motorway for about 10 miles...and when I went driving yesterday, I saw the middle of the bridge completely taken out.I guess you could say that they won't be using that bridge for a while...
So,it's been a few days...I've only driven on the wrong side of the road once.No one has gotten hurt and Nelson is a little loud, but is steady...more adventures to come I'm sure.
So, this past Thursday my friends Jo, Rachel, and Sara came up from South Auckland and drove my car, known as "Nelson" to the Yates house. There he was...a four door gray little car. It comes equiped with no working radio and the AC only works on full blast. That's right my friends, this car has personality.Well, on Friday I set out on a journey to hang out with Rachel down south and hopped on the motorway headed into the city of Auckland. The motorway=packed.I've been in traffic jams before, but nothing compared to this one.
I was texting my friends saying that I was stuck in this massive traffic jam.Here I was,no AC and no radio...so what did I do?The one thing that any American would do...I busted out my laptop and started jamming to tunes :)I was stuck on the motorway for two hours...and moved maybe 2.5 miles.What a journey by myself...my first time driving...and I went nowhere.Pretty much a success!
Come to find out,there was a massive accident on the main bridge.A truck was going under an overpass, but had too much stuff on the top of his truck and pretty much destroyed the bridge. They had to shut down the entire motorway for about 10 miles...and when I went driving yesterday, I saw the middle of the bridge completely taken out.I guess you could say that they won't be using that bridge for a while...
So,it's been a few days...I've only driven on the wrong side of the road once.No one has gotten hurt and Nelson is a little loud, but is steady...more adventures to come I'm sure.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
I Found a Flat!
Hello readers,
I have some amazing news!When I first arrived in New Zealand,I started staying with this lady (Marie) and she is actually moving to a different house in a few weeks,so it was necessary for me to find a new place to live.Talk about scary!Here I was, in a totally different location,trying to find an apartment (flat over here).So, I busted out the newspapers on Monday and held the hi-liter in hand.I had always wanted to do that...sit there with a coffee, newspaper, and hi-liter, wanting to find a place to live.Here I was...living out that dream...
So,I started turning the pages and looking for places under $200 a week (which is about $130 American, 65 pounds in England, and about $14,000 in Canadian...hey,I don't know what the currency rate is). As I was looking,there were no flats available for under $200.In fact, the cheapest that I found was $260.That was okay for my budget, but definitely not ideal.So,I prayed that God would help me to find a place to live (because I really needed one...and soon.).I said to the pastor, "I'll look online and see what I can find." You see,I have this thought that if it's advertized online,then those people are somewhat more intelligent because they 1. Know what they're doing online and 2. Will seek a wider range of people...I guess I trust it more.
So,after searching online for about half an hour,I got to this one site that had four locations that were under $200 a week!I checked them each out online and the one that I was really inclined to look at was for $16o a week and it's a house with three local university students (all girls).I called the girl up and she was keen on me coming to look at the place, so Mike(pastor) and I went to look at it last night...and I have found a flat!!!The girls are dynamite and the flat is decent...once I put on some rubber gloves...we'll be all set.What's even better is that we all go grocery shopping together, eat meals together, and the rent includes everything...I mean it...everything!God answered prayer for sure!
I'll be moving in next Saturday and I am so very excited to live with these three girls.What a great ministry opportunity!I have been so blessed and I am trying my hardest to be a blessing to others. Now go out and do the same :)
I have some amazing news!When I first arrived in New Zealand,I started staying with this lady (Marie) and she is actually moving to a different house in a few weeks,so it was necessary for me to find a new place to live.Talk about scary!Here I was, in a totally different location,trying to find an apartment (flat over here).So, I busted out the newspapers on Monday and held the hi-liter in hand.I had always wanted to do that...sit there with a coffee, newspaper, and hi-liter, wanting to find a place to live.Here I was...living out that dream...
So,I started turning the pages and looking for places under $200 a week (which is about $130 American, 65 pounds in England, and about $14,000 in Canadian...hey,I don't know what the currency rate is). As I was looking,there were no flats available for under $200.In fact, the cheapest that I found was $260.That was okay for my budget, but definitely not ideal.So,I prayed that God would help me to find a place to live (because I really needed one...and soon.).I said to the pastor, "I'll look online and see what I can find." You see,I have this thought that if it's advertized online,then those people are somewhat more intelligent because they 1. Know what they're doing online and 2. Will seek a wider range of people...I guess I trust it more.
So,after searching online for about half an hour,I got to this one site that had four locations that were under $200 a week!I checked them each out online and the one that I was really inclined to look at was for $16o a week and it's a house with three local university students (all girls).I called the girl up and she was keen on me coming to look at the place, so Mike(pastor) and I went to look at it last night...and I have found a flat!!!The girls are dynamite and the flat is decent...once I put on some rubber gloves...we'll be all set.What's even better is that we all go grocery shopping together, eat meals together, and the rent includes everything...I mean it...everything!God answered prayer for sure!
I'll be moving in next Saturday and I am so very excited to live with these three girls.What a great ministry opportunity!I have been so blessed and I am trying my hardest to be a blessing to others. Now go out and do the same :)
Monday, September 29, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
One Week Past
"It's been one week since you looked at me..."
Okay...not quite,but I've been here a week and it's been so amazing.The people here are so welcoming and friendly...they actually leave their doors open for people to just come in whenever they feel like it...that's definitely a different thing to get used to.This past week,I started working in the office.I have never been an "office style" kind of girl,so this is different.The pastor is also teaches some business classes at the local university, so he is in and out of the office constantly.That's a bit different.
I led a teen Bible study on Wednesday night called "laundromat Bible study."Eight guys showed up and I love how open they are to growing in their relationship with Christ.They bring some difficult questions and I actually e-mailed one of my professors to have him try to answer my questions.I'm so pumped to be involved in this ministry and hear what questions they have to bring up in the upcoming weeks.
I said the other day how I can't believe that people can be surrounded by this constant beauty and still not believe that God exists.I find it so much easier to see God in everything that I see around me.It has definitely improved my spiritual life in being here...and I can see my character developing more and more and that is so encouraging!Things are going well and I'll keep you updated!
Okay...not quite,but I've been here a week and it's been so amazing.The people here are so welcoming and friendly...they actually leave their doors open for people to just come in whenever they feel like it...that's definitely a different thing to get used to.This past week,I started working in the office.I have never been an "office style" kind of girl,so this is different.The pastor is also teaches some business classes at the local university, so he is in and out of the office constantly.That's a bit different.
I led a teen Bible study on Wednesday night called "laundromat Bible study."Eight guys showed up and I love how open they are to growing in their relationship with Christ.They bring some difficult questions and I actually e-mailed one of my professors to have him try to answer my questions.I'm so pumped to be involved in this ministry and hear what questions they have to bring up in the upcoming weeks.
I said the other day how I can't believe that people can be surrounded by this constant beauty and still not believe that God exists.I find it so much easier to see God in everything that I see around me.It has definitely improved my spiritual life in being here...and I can see my character developing more and more and that is so encouraging!Things are going well and I'll keep you updated!
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Feet in the Pacific...okay!
Hey everyone!
I made it here!It was a long journey,but so worth the trip already.After waiting in the airport for forever and a day,I boarded the flight to Auckland at 10:15 pm and thankfully fell asleep pretty much as soon as I got on the plane...I woke up when the pilot said that we only had a 120 miles until we reached Auckland. This is when the nerves set in.When I get nervous, my stomach hurts really badly...almost as if I have dinosaurs (because I don't get butterflies...).So,I started to get overheated...so I thankfully had a little fan handy dandy thing (aka paper).
Once getting off the flight, I went to pick up my luggage. I was so scared that it wouldn't be there,so I prayed that God would be behind this and have it show up.After a ton of other people grabbed their's, then came my green suitcase and huge red bag.Thankfully!I put it on a carrier and then headed toward customs.This was another nervous time for me.I handed the "nice lady" my passport and paperwork and she asked who was coming to pick me up and did I have a phone number for them. I said that Mike, Jeff,and Brent were coming to get me but that I didn't have a contact number. She was very snappy and even made me take my hat off for me to reveal my grease-ball of a head.Not good times.She thankfully allowed me in and gave me my first stamp in my passport.Yeaha.
So...I'm wandering around looking for my people because let's face it,I don't really know what these people look like.Then I see Brent's smiling face and beside him were Mike and Jeff. Again...relief.We sat and enjoyed a cup of tea (juice for me) and then headed our separate ways...just like journey.
My first drive through Auckland was intense. We got in on the opposite sides of the car, drove on the opposite side of the road, and they don't believe in stop signs around here...so the traffic is SO fast paced...which is scary. They have tons of turn arounds...so again, scary. It was so odd to see city on one side of the road, and a proper field with cows on the other side. I said that where I'm from, they separate the two: one is city, and then you drive further to see the country.Mike took me to my first Pacific beach: Tapakura Beach. I dipped my feet in the water...and it was freezing...but I had to!If not for me,then for my dad :)
I was able to shower and meet some more people as the day went on and then I hung out with the youth group "Fusion"which were such a delight. I can already tell that I'm going to have a blast with them!The people here are so laid back and welcoming...they really don't let anything bother them, or so it seems right now. Saturday night (which would be your friday or early saturday morning), Brent put together a "Heidi's Night Out" to welcome me.This was such a huge blessing.I met about 17 other people that I hope to get to know better. The majority of them live on the other side of Auckland. Geoff picked me up and we had an interesting ride to the restaurant...then we went bowling!I was beyond tired,so my social skills were lacking...and that's what I blame my poor bowling on...
That's the update so far...church was great yesterday and I will post pictures of what I did yesterday afternoon.God is so good and He is totally in this. Thanks for your prayers and keep them coming.Love you!
Heids
I made it here!It was a long journey,but so worth the trip already.After waiting in the airport for forever and a day,I boarded the flight to Auckland at 10:15 pm and thankfully fell asleep pretty much as soon as I got on the plane...I woke up when the pilot said that we only had a 120 miles until we reached Auckland. This is when the nerves set in.When I get nervous, my stomach hurts really badly...almost as if I have dinosaurs (because I don't get butterflies...).So,I started to get overheated...so I thankfully had a little fan handy dandy thing (aka paper).
Once getting off the flight, I went to pick up my luggage. I was so scared that it wouldn't be there,so I prayed that God would be behind this and have it show up.After a ton of other people grabbed their's, then came my green suitcase and huge red bag.Thankfully!I put it on a carrier and then headed toward customs.This was another nervous time for me.I handed the "nice lady" my passport and paperwork and she asked who was coming to pick me up and did I have a phone number for them. I said that Mike, Jeff,and Brent were coming to get me but that I didn't have a contact number. She was very snappy and even made me take my hat off for me to reveal my grease-ball of a head.Not good times.She thankfully allowed me in and gave me my first stamp in my passport.Yeaha.
So...I'm wandering around looking for my people because let's face it,I don't really know what these people look like.Then I see Brent's smiling face and beside him were Mike and Jeff. Again...relief.We sat and enjoyed a cup of tea (juice for me) and then headed our separate ways...just like journey.
My first drive through Auckland was intense. We got in on the opposite sides of the car, drove on the opposite side of the road, and they don't believe in stop signs around here...so the traffic is SO fast paced...which is scary. They have tons of turn arounds...so again, scary. It was so odd to see city on one side of the road, and a proper field with cows on the other side. I said that where I'm from, they separate the two: one is city, and then you drive further to see the country.Mike took me to my first Pacific beach: Tapakura Beach. I dipped my feet in the water...and it was freezing...but I had to!If not for me,then for my dad :)
I was able to shower and meet some more people as the day went on and then I hung out with the youth group "Fusion"which were such a delight. I can already tell that I'm going to have a blast with them!The people here are so laid back and welcoming...they really don't let anything bother them, or so it seems right now. Saturday night (which would be your friday or early saturday morning), Brent put together a "Heidi's Night Out" to welcome me.This was such a huge blessing.I met about 17 other people that I hope to get to know better. The majority of them live on the other side of Auckland. Geoff picked me up and we had an interesting ride to the restaurant...then we went bowling!I was beyond tired,so my social skills were lacking...and that's what I blame my poor bowling on...
That's the update so far...church was great yesterday and I will post pictures of what I did yesterday afternoon.God is so good and He is totally in this. Thanks for your prayers and keep them coming.Love you!
Heids
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
the incredible journey...
Well,I love how when I think that I have things in control,God totally stirs them up.One of my biggest fears was that my flights would not work out...and today...wow,has been insane to the membrane.
It started out in Portland, Maine.My parents dropped me off and said good-bye (tear), and then I waited for my flight.I was quite early,so I passed the time with reading, jamming to some tunes, attempting to write a little bit, and painting my nails.Then, about twenty minutes before my flight was supposed to take off, the Delta rep. said that we were at a ground control because there were too many flights going into JFK (NYC). So, there I was...utter panic.So,the guy calls me up to the counter and tries to get some info because I will miss all of my connecting flights and won't make it to New Zealand.
Between him being on the phone and me calling/crying/panicing...I got on the plane to JFK at 3:15 and arrived at 4:50 (ten minutes late...so I missed my flight). So, I talked to another Delta rep (her name was Zina..sweet,I know).She was wonderful for this tear-stained face...she got me a ticket to LA (the last seat) and worked to book my flight to New Zealand as soon as I could get one.So, I was able to get on the internet for a little bit (paid $10 for it...eeesh) and talk to my friends who I filled in on what was going on and they prayed for me. Thank you so VERY much for doing that.
So,I hop on the plane to LA and sit beside a Marine who manages to fall asleep on my shoulder...I didn't even know his name,but hey,he's doing a service to our country..so I guess I could give him my shoulder.I took some Tylenol PM so that I could sleep...and I did...I slept for about 4.5 hours out of the 5.5 total that I was in the air.I hopped off the plane, sorted out my baggage, and here I sit..in LAX until tomorrow night at 10:30 when I will hop on a plane to New Zealand...a day later than I should have been.
I'm safe. I'm okay.I have internet and my Bible,so Jesus and I will be having good times.Please keep praying for me as I have to do my best to stay awake so that none of my things get stolen.It'll be a long night/day (yawning as I type).Please keep checking up on me.
Blessings!
Heidi
It started out in Portland, Maine.My parents dropped me off and said good-bye (tear), and then I waited for my flight.I was quite early,so I passed the time with reading, jamming to some tunes, attempting to write a little bit, and painting my nails.Then, about twenty minutes before my flight was supposed to take off, the Delta rep. said that we were at a ground control because there were too many flights going into JFK (NYC). So, there I was...utter panic.So,the guy calls me up to the counter and tries to get some info because I will miss all of my connecting flights and won't make it to New Zealand.
Between him being on the phone and me calling/crying/panicing...I got on the plane to JFK at 3:15 and arrived at 4:50 (ten minutes late...so I missed my flight). So, I talked to another Delta rep (her name was Zina..sweet,I know).She was wonderful for this tear-stained face...she got me a ticket to LA (the last seat) and worked to book my flight to New Zealand as soon as I could get one.So, I was able to get on the internet for a little bit (paid $10 for it...eeesh) and talk to my friends who I filled in on what was going on and they prayed for me. Thank you so VERY much for doing that.
So,I hop on the plane to LA and sit beside a Marine who manages to fall asleep on my shoulder...I didn't even know his name,but hey,he's doing a service to our country..so I guess I could give him my shoulder.I took some Tylenol PM so that I could sleep...and I did...I slept for about 4.5 hours out of the 5.5 total that I was in the air.I hopped off the plane, sorted out my baggage, and here I sit..in LAX until tomorrow night at 10:30 when I will hop on a plane to New Zealand...a day later than I should have been.
I'm safe. I'm okay.I have internet and my Bible,so Jesus and I will be having good times.Please keep praying for me as I have to do my best to stay awake so that none of my things get stolen.It'll be a long night/day (yawning as I type).Please keep checking up on me.
Blessings!
Heidi
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Contact.
Oh yeah...I forgot to put my address in there for those of you who would like to send me mail...here you go!
Shore Grace Church
Attn: Heidi Sattler
Greenhithe
New Shore City 0632
New Zealand
Phone: (09)413-6388
Shore Grace Church
Attn: Heidi Sattler
Greenhithe
New Shore City 0632
New Zealand
Phone: (09)413-6388
I leave in two sleeps...I may pee my pants!
Okay...so I'm sitting in my living room updating this oh so wonderful blog...booyah.My toes are freezing, I'm wearing a hoodie,and all that I can think is..."my feet will be in the pacific ocean so soon!"That...along with about a bazillion other thoughts...
Today was my last church service at home.What a blessing to have my pastor pray over me and to feel the support of my church family.I think that in order to feel secure in this adventure, that I needed the support of my church...so, thank you to those of you who are praying for me.If you've committed...please pray! :)
Also...I'm not sure how I feel about this whole "see you in five months" deal.I mean...really?It's sad when you think about it long enough,so I try not to do that.My friend wrote to me "I'll hug you again in five months." Dang...that made reality set in.And then for me to see the youth group tonight and spend time with them (here's your shout out guys...love you!)...it was so wonderful to hear about their intentions for the year.I have so much faith in you guys...go out and be Jesus to people...do what my generation couldn't do.
The packing process...check.Done that...only after about an hour of packing with my mom.You see,I wasn't the best at geometry,so trying to make everything fit into a little suitcase...just wasn't happening,so my mom packed my stuff..yes,I know...I'm a big baby.Go ahead and think what you will,but I'm packed,so there :) I realized one thing that I forgot though...a watch.I mean,who really needs to keep the time?Not me.Who needs to know when her flight is leaving?Not me.Who needs to know if she's late for her flight?Not me.So...I went to the lovely Wal*Mart and purchased a great sunflower watch...little girl's style...yeaha.
Here I sit...with cold toes and thoughts in my head.I'm really doing this.The next time you hear from me,I'll be in Kiwiland.
Blessings,
Heidi
Today was my last church service at home.What a blessing to have my pastor pray over me and to feel the support of my church family.I think that in order to feel secure in this adventure, that I needed the support of my church...so, thank you to those of you who are praying for me.If you've committed...please pray! :)
Also...I'm not sure how I feel about this whole "see you in five months" deal.I mean...really?It's sad when you think about it long enough,so I try not to do that.My friend wrote to me "I'll hug you again in five months." Dang...that made reality set in.And then for me to see the youth group tonight and spend time with them (here's your shout out guys...love you!)...it was so wonderful to hear about their intentions for the year.I have so much faith in you guys...go out and be Jesus to people...do what my generation couldn't do.
The packing process...check.Done that...only after about an hour of packing with my mom.You see,I wasn't the best at geometry,so trying to make everything fit into a little suitcase...just wasn't happening,so my mom packed my stuff..yes,I know...I'm a big baby.Go ahead and think what you will,but I'm packed,so there :) I realized one thing that I forgot though...a watch.I mean,who really needs to keep the time?Not me.Who needs to know when her flight is leaving?Not me.Who needs to know if she's late for her flight?Not me.So...I went to the lovely Wal*Mart and purchased a great sunflower watch...little girl's style...yeaha.
Here I sit...with cold toes and thoughts in my head.I'm really doing this.The next time you hear from me,I'll be in Kiwiland.
Blessings,
Heidi
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