Reality Sets In...

So,I know that I've only written about the good stuff since I've gotten here,but I think that it's also important to be vulnerable with you guys and fill you in on how I'm feeling at this present moment.I absolutely love it here...trust me on that...but I was also warned that there would come a time where I would have a little breakdown...I would be homesick or something to that extent.

Well,I'm not homesick...I don't miss home (sorry house in Maine), but I miss the consistency that I had when I was at home.Consistent means: to be reliable; steady. Yes, I'm a geek and I looked that up...Anyways,I miss the consistency that I had when I was at home.Since being here, I've had to start all over.I didn't come in with friends (well,many) that were here and I knew that I would have to put myself out there and form friendships all over again.That can be so incredibly intimidating...so,thankfully I had some people step in and take me under their wing..which was very much appreciated.I honestly think that when I get into my flat (this Thursday/Friday),then it'll be much better!

Anyways,back to the consistency thing...I had a situation on Friday night which left me feeling like I had no consistency.I was supposed to go out,but that ended up not happening.I hate planning something,but then having those plans fall through...I've always hated when people bail on me and that's what I felt on Friday...though I know the other person didn't mean to have that happen.I wouldn't believe that's in anyone's heart to be like that...

So,I ended up sitting at home on Friday and contemplating(not something that's healthy for me..cause I think way too much)for the night...and then on Saturday,I hadn't made any plans,so I sat and thought some more.I miss my friends a lot.Three of my best friends live in England and my other two best friends live in America...it's rough to be here without them.I never really imagined how much I would miss my friends...people that know me inside and out and know what makes me happy and what makes me sad and when I just need to sit with someone and say nothing and then when I need to spill my guts.

I miss consistency.I am determined to find that here.Please know that I'm doing much better, but for the weekend I wasn't much of a fan of being around people...but I'm getting back into the swing of things.So, Mom and Dad...don't worry...I'm good...and to my consistent friends...thank you.

Be blessed and be a blessing to someone.