I have never been very good at good-byes. In fact, that is one thing that I am constantly not improving on. No matter how many times people leave or I leave a place, I end up crying and feeling so broken-hearted. I remember when I first came over here, I met Josh Bowlin. He had come up to lead youth group at Shore Grace. He was awesome. The following week, I met his wife Becca and their two daughters, Caile and Averie. I can honestly say that I have never seen two more beautiful little girls.
The Bowlin family have been over here for two years doing missionary work through Global Partners. At our first Global Partners meeting, I knew that I was going to connect well with Becca. I was new to the environment and the people and she was there with a smile on her face and a warm heart. I knew that I had found a life-long friend when it came to ministry.
From that day on, any chance that I got to hang out with the Bowlins, I took. They became not only family, but really close friends in a short amount of time. Being able to be a part of watching their two adorable girls grow up has been remarkable and such a blessing. I will forever cherish the time that I was able to spend with them.
The Bowlin family left today to go back to Indiana to do home mission for a year. They are appointed as career missionaries to New Zealand and so they have to go back over and raise support to cover their four years in New Zealand that they will hopefully start this coming September. I am so excited for them, but a part of me hurts at the same time.
I could not help but think that I am the next one leaving. I have been here for three and a half months and I only have three more left. The time has seriously flown by and that makes me incredibly sad. Walking into that airport today was petrifying because I knew that in a short while, I would be doing that same thing, except I don’t know when/if I will be coming back.
The Bowlins had tons of people show up to the airport to send them off. That was such a huge blessing and an encouragement to see. I hope that I have the same thing happen to me as well. I am starting to learn that ministry is difficult. There will be people coming in and out of your life so frequently and you just have to adapt to it. I am not great at that. I am very empathic toward people, so that does not help in the process.
As much as it broke my heart to see them happy to go, I could not help but be glad for them at the same time. When I hugged Josh he said, “I’ll see you back here,“ and I said, “I don’t know if I’m coming back.“ He said, “You’re coming back.“ We will have to see about that. The last hug today was from Becca. We both looked at each other and just started crying. She said, “Stop that!” and I said the same thing back to her. A piece of their heart is left in New Zealand and a piece of my heart is left with the Bowlin family.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Connections
This past summer, I was able to meet four kiwis...Kim, Lizzie, Dave (shout out), and Sam. Kim lives in Auckland and I had been wanting to get together with her since I have been here...well, yesterday my wish was granted!Rach and I headed over to Kim's house in Beachlands..which is by the beach..go figure...and we met her family and drove to Clevedon to get ice cream. It was so bizarre to be in Clevedon because it actually resembled my hometown, Houlton.
Later, Brent came over as well as Kim's boyfriend Jake. It was so nice to be around Kim. We were able to talk about camp, so it was super awesome that she knew who I was talking about and it may seem weird, but it seemed like a little piece of home and comfort. We ate dinner with her family (who are flipping amazing) and then later went out into the ocean, the pacific..yeah that's right.
A few went water skiing, but I'm not brave enough for that yet, but I did manage to go tubing. I went tubing in the Pacific...crazy. I didn't hold on for too long because I didn't have that great of a grip and for those of you that remember the banana boat from summer, I'm not too keen on water things like that..as it usually ends up with me being embarrassed for a little while. It was so wonderful to be around a Christian family and to make connection with Kim and her friends.
On another note, I need your prayer for something. I'm really wanting to be stretched when it comes to my ministry...I feel as though I need to start branching out way more than I currently am.So please pray that God will give me boldness and the courage to step up and reach out for Him.I'm here for ministry and I want to be doing that...not just with Christians, but with non-Christians.
Pray for me and I'll pray for you.How's that sound?
Blessings.
Later, Brent came over as well as Kim's boyfriend Jake. It was so nice to be around Kim. We were able to talk about camp, so it was super awesome that she knew who I was talking about and it may seem weird, but it seemed like a little piece of home and comfort. We ate dinner with her family (who are flipping amazing) and then later went out into the ocean, the pacific..yeah that's right.
A few went water skiing, but I'm not brave enough for that yet, but I did manage to go tubing. I went tubing in the Pacific...crazy. I didn't hold on for too long because I didn't have that great of a grip and for those of you that remember the banana boat from summer, I'm not too keen on water things like that..as it usually ends up with me being embarrassed for a little while. It was so wonderful to be around a Christian family and to make connection with Kim and her friends.
On another note, I need your prayer for something. I'm really wanting to be stretched when it comes to my ministry...I feel as though I need to start branching out way more than I currently am.So please pray that God will give me boldness and the courage to step up and reach out for Him.I'm here for ministry and I want to be doing that...not just with Christians, but with non-Christians.
Pray for me and I'll pray for you.How's that sound?
Blessings.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Merry Christmas
Christmas in New Zealand...my family away from my family. The fussners (Beth, Jeff(santa), and Emily, Bowlins (Becca, Josh, Caile, Averie), Back- Sara, Rachel, Me, Brent. I was very thankful to spend Christmas with my extended family over here.So many thoughts went through my head today. I couldn't help but watch the people around me and how they were or had planned to interact with their families, mostly via skype or telephone. It was a hard day. I guess that I thought that me leaving my family would be really tough on them around the holidays because they would know that a person was missing, and I thought that this was a new adventure and that if I were going to get homesick, then it wouldn't be that bad because I was experiencing something new and with new people.
However, my heart didn't feel the same way.It hit hard.While others were watching "The Nativity," my heart and mind were elsewhere...they were in New York with the rest of my family.I wanted to be there,doing the traditions that I have grown up with and sharing that special time with my family.I am so very thankful for my best friend Alicia who stuck by me...she even got her mom on the phone who started crying with me...I felt missed and that warmed my heart.
God constantly amazes me with how He changes my heart and attitude. Yes, I was sad today, but I was able to have a new experience and to share it with new people who mean so very much to me. To have so many people offer to take me in as the "orphan," really made me feel so special. I learned yet again that I am loved both near and far...
So thank you to all who made this Christmas special to me.Both near and far, wide and long, this Christmas will forever be in my memory...and I am forever grateful.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
White Water Rafting Escapades!
Today was one of the most insane days of my life. Being in New Zealand, I have to take advantage of some of the one time experiences…so I decided to head up a group to go white water rafting. When I was coming up with it, all I could think was, “this is going to be AWESOME!” but then when we piled into the van, I had a huge fear come over me. I was petrified. What if I fell out of the boat and they couldn’t get to me? What if I had to wear a wetsuit? How embarrassing would that be?! Goodness…all of a sudden, I really didn’t want to go.
Unfortunately it was too late. I didn’t have a choice anymore. We kept driving to meet our fate…while I thought, I’m about to meet my Maker.
Anyways, we got a little lost on the way there (it was about a 2.5 hour van ride) and it had started to sprinkle rain. We pulled up to the place and I was instantly nervous. There would be no turning back now. We walked into the office, signed a form that said “you can’t sue us if something horrible happens to you,” and we were handed none other than…our wetsuits and booties. Oh dear…my fear…had become a reality.
I put the wet suit on with help from this random Indian girl. Thank you! And…we were off to get instructed. Josh Bowlin, Brent Dongell, Joanne McKinnel, Jean Wan, Rachel Nigro, and Heidi Sattler were in “Yellow Submarine” raft. We owned it. After being instructed, we carried our raft down to the river and set off for our adventure. I was nervous and I was scared that I would pee my pants out of sheer fear. We headed down the first little rapid…not too shabby. Oh, did I forget to mention that we were going on class 5 rapids? Yeah, there are 6 classes…we were on 5. Mental.
It didn’t take us long until we headed to the waterfall. You read that correctly…waterfall. 23 foot drop. Oh my goodness (said in Brent’s voice). We stood up in the boat before we went over…to see what we were about to face. My legs were shaking from nerves, so I quickly sat back down. We were told to “get done” which meant “squish your body into the little holes so that you don’t die” places. We did that and held on for dear life. I guess that I didn’t realize that I could have seriously injured myself. All that I remember is going down the waterfall and being totally submerged, but there was NO way that my hands were letting go of the ropes. Rachel ended up falling out, grabbing ahold of Josh’s paddle and he pulled her up. “Just like Santa” she kept saying. We continued down the river and hit some more wild rapids and ended up soaking wet. Honestly…I haven’t had that much fun in forever…so good!
When we were at the end of our journey, everyone was told to pile out of the boat. I put one leg over…and keep in mind that I hadn’t fallen into the river yet. I put one leg over and then lost my balance and “BOOM!” I fell backwards…literally, on my butt and back..into the water. Just as we were getting out of the river. Leave it to me. That was a repeat of what happened when my friend Kyle and I went canoeing and I fell in when we were docking.
After that adventure, we decided to go to the hot river. I don’t know exactly what it’s called, but it’s a creek that is hot from the thermal heat underneath. So, literally…my skin turned red from the water being so hot. It was so crazy. Here I was, sitting in a stream and it was so hot that I had to move to the colder side of the stream. How crazy!
All in all…one of the best days that I’ve had here…so many adventures with such great people! It is definitely something that I will remember for the rest of my life. Oh, and did I mention that I went white water rafting in New Zealand
Unfortunately it was too late. I didn’t have a choice anymore. We kept driving to meet our fate…while I thought, I’m about to meet my Maker.
Anyways, we got a little lost on the way there (it was about a 2.5 hour van ride) and it had started to sprinkle rain. We pulled up to the place and I was instantly nervous. There would be no turning back now. We walked into the office, signed a form that said “you can’t sue us if something horrible happens to you,” and we were handed none other than…our wetsuits and booties. Oh dear…my fear…had become a reality.
I put the wet suit on with help from this random Indian girl. Thank you! And…we were off to get instructed. Josh Bowlin, Brent Dongell, Joanne McKinnel, Jean Wan, Rachel Nigro, and Heidi Sattler were in “Yellow Submarine” raft. We owned it. After being instructed, we carried our raft down to the river and set off for our adventure. I was nervous and I was scared that I would pee my pants out of sheer fear. We headed down the first little rapid…not too shabby. Oh, did I forget to mention that we were going on class 5 rapids? Yeah, there are 6 classes…we were on 5. Mental.
It didn’t take us long until we headed to the waterfall. You read that correctly…waterfall. 23 foot drop. Oh my goodness (said in Brent’s voice). We stood up in the boat before we went over…to see what we were about to face. My legs were shaking from nerves, so I quickly sat back down. We were told to “get done” which meant “squish your body into the little holes so that you don’t die” places. We did that and held on for dear life. I guess that I didn’t realize that I could have seriously injured myself. All that I remember is going down the waterfall and being totally submerged, but there was NO way that my hands were letting go of the ropes. Rachel ended up falling out, grabbing ahold of Josh’s paddle and he pulled her up. “Just like Santa” she kept saying. We continued down the river and hit some more wild rapids and ended up soaking wet. Honestly…I haven’t had that much fun in forever…so good!
When we were at the end of our journey, everyone was told to pile out of the boat. I put one leg over…and keep in mind that I hadn’t fallen into the river yet. I put one leg over and then lost my balance and “BOOM!” I fell backwards…literally, on my butt and back..into the water. Just as we were getting out of the river. Leave it to me. That was a repeat of what happened when my friend Kyle and I went canoeing and I fell in when we were docking.
After that adventure, we decided to go to the hot river. I don’t know exactly what it’s called, but it’s a creek that is hot from the thermal heat underneath. So, literally…my skin turned red from the water being so hot. It was so crazy. Here I was, sitting in a stream and it was so hot that I had to move to the colder side of the stream. How crazy!
All in all…one of the best days that I’ve had here…so many adventures with such great people! It is definitely something that I will remember for the rest of my life. Oh, and did I mention that I went white water rafting in New Zealand
Monday, December 15, 2008
He is the Lord your God
I don't know about you, but I love my Bible. Okay, so that is probs the typical answer from a missionary, but seriously...I mean it. I love it. I love how I have sermon notes throughout my Bible from years back and how I have papers inserted into my Bible that have quotes or sermon ideas written on them. When I was gone a while back on a weekend retreat, I was handed a piece of paper that had lyrics to a song written on it.
So, today I just really wasn't feeling myself...and I could tell and I'm sure others could as well.I'm starting to feel drained...I feel drained in every capacity and I hate that feeling. I had a little spell of food poisoning, so my body really hated me. We had just gotten done doing an outreach event at the church. I'm trying to get things sorted for camp. And I had something come up last week that just really set my mind thinking...so I wasn't feeling myself...at all.I'm usually quite perky and fun, but today...I just wasn't.
Later on, I was looking through my Bible and came across a few verses, but then the blue piece of paper caught my eye. I opened it up and here were these words:
So, today I just really wasn't feeling myself...and I could tell and I'm sure others could as well.I'm starting to feel drained...I feel drained in every capacity and I hate that feeling. I had a little spell of food poisoning, so my body really hated me. We had just gotten done doing an outreach event at the church. I'm trying to get things sorted for camp. And I had something come up last week that just really set my mind thinking...so I wasn't feeling myself...at all.I'm usually quite perky and fun, but today...I just wasn't.
Later on, I was looking through my Bible and came across a few verses, but then the blue piece of paper caught my eye. I opened it up and here were these words:
When you pass through the water
He will be with you
When you pass through the rivers
They will never overflow
When you walk through the fire
The flames will not burn you
For He is the Lord your God.
He will lead the blind
In a way they cannot see now
In paths they do not know
He will lead them
He will cut through the darkness
And He'll shine the light before them
He will smite the rugged places
And smooth them into plains
These are the things He will do
He will not leave them undone
These are the things He will do
For He is the Lord
He is the Holy One
When you walk through the valley
He will walk beside you
When the wind blows against you
He will be your shield
Who shall you fear?
When God is on your side
He is the Lord your God.
The line, "When you pass through the rivers, they will not overflow" really caught my eye. Even though I am feeling drained and want to throw in the towel in some regard, God knows what He's doing. He has my back. He doesn't give me more than I can handle...and He won't let this overflow. Such a good reminder.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Quotes and Thoughts...
Being a studious well, student...I was working on my last directive homework tonight at a coffee shop in downtown Auckland with two good friends.It was such a neat little experience. I love the feel of an internet cafe and this one had a very "homey" feeling to it. So back to the assignment...I've been dreading doing this last assignment just because it's so much reading and sorry,but I wasn't keen to do it...so I've kind of put it off until two weeks before it was due.
I know what some of you are thinking, "you have plenty of time!" Well, I'm not a procrastinator, so this is pretty bad for me. Anyways, I drank my flat white (their normal coffee over here) at 10:15 pm (bad idea because now I'm still wide awake and it's 1 am) and sat down with my computer and book in hand.
So, I opened the book with the thought that "Ugh,I just have to get this done." Little did I know what treasures I would find...I'm doing my directive on the book of Romans, so I've had to read through the book of Romans several times and do some written work for it as well.This is a quote that really got me thinking...I'm wondering what your thoughts are on the subject.
“The obedience of Christians to the Lord who has redeemed them is vital to the gospel Paul preaches. Thus we must avoid two theological extremes: separating faith from obedience in such a way that we can have the one without the other, or identifying them in such a way that obedience is minimized.”
How would we separate faith from obedience? Don't the two go hand in hand...or shouldn't they? Is it possible to have one without the other?Is our faith ever minimized and our obedience maximized?
Another thought that was brought up was that "we grow cavalier toward our sin because we think God will simply overlook it out of his love for us in Christ."What gives us the right to think like that?How do we change that way of thinking?Better yet, how do we address this when it comes to other people?
Just some thoughts...feedback welcome.
Be blessed and be a blessing.
I know what some of you are thinking, "you have plenty of time!" Well, I'm not a procrastinator, so this is pretty bad for me. Anyways, I drank my flat white (their normal coffee over here) at 10:15 pm (bad idea because now I'm still wide awake and it's 1 am) and sat down with my computer and book in hand.
So, I opened the book with the thought that "Ugh,I just have to get this done." Little did I know what treasures I would find...I'm doing my directive on the book of Romans, so I've had to read through the book of Romans several times and do some written work for it as well.This is a quote that really got me thinking...I'm wondering what your thoughts are on the subject.
“The obedience of Christians to the Lord who has redeemed them is vital to the gospel Paul preaches. Thus we must avoid two theological extremes: separating faith from obedience in such a way that we can have the one without the other, or identifying them in such a way that obedience is minimized.”
How would we separate faith from obedience? Don't the two go hand in hand...or shouldn't they? Is it possible to have one without the other?Is our faith ever minimized and our obedience maximized?
Another thought that was brought up was that "we grow cavalier toward our sin because we think God will simply overlook it out of his love for us in Christ."What gives us the right to think like that?How do we change that way of thinking?Better yet, how do we address this when it comes to other people?
Just some thoughts...feedback welcome.
Be blessed and be a blessing.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
It's Beginning to Feel Somewhat Like Christmas
New Zealand is hot. Maine is cold. New Zealand has sand. Maine has snow. New Zealand has palm trees. Maine has pine cones. New Zealand has surfing. Maine has sledding. New Zealand has skinny Santa that wears shorts. Maine has a fat Santa who can't fit down a chimney.
Things are different here. It's Christmas, but it certainly doesn't feel like it. Well, it didn't anyway. Being able to walk outside in a shirt and pair of shorts wearing jandals just doesn't seem right when I know people back home are all freezing. I must say that I don't mind, but when it comes to Christmas,it just doesn't feel the same. It's different. Not a bad different, but just different.
So, to help get me in the Christmas spirit, I've purchased an advent calendar and today I went out and bought a Christmas tree with some decorations. Ornaments that people are sending me will be placed on this tree soon! Now that I have a Christmas tree up and I'm listening to Christmas tunes, it makes it feel like Christmas on the inside of the house even if it's 75 degrees outside of the house.
New Zealand is home. Maine is home.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
So Far Away...
I remember growing up and having my parents introduce "good music" to me. Carole King was big on the list. I remember learning lyrics that say,
"So far away. Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore.
It would be so fine to see your face at my door.
Doesn't help to know, you're just time away.
Long ago I reached for you and there you stood.
Holding you again could only do me good.
How I wish I could, but you're so far away."
Some of you are reading this and thinking, "Oh geez, Heidi's cracked. She's homesick." I wouldn't say that I'm homesick, it's just different to have had Thanksgiving pass and to have a different family around me (one that I am extremely grateful for) and to head into Christmas. I'm going to be honest...it does not feel like Christmas. There's no snow, there are barely Christmas lights, I don't have a tree, I don't have a radio to hear Christmas music, and people here just celebrate completely different. So, I miss coming home from uni and having the house all decked out and digging through ornaments that I've made since I was about four years old.
However, I realize that I can either look at this negatively or be encouraged and challenged by it and look at it with a positive attitude. Which do you think I'm doing? I mean, honestly...I'm on the opposite side of the world learning how to celebrate in a different way. Jesus is still the same no matter which side of the equator I'm on. And when I go through those "I miss familiarity. I miss friends. I miss family." moments, I turn to the verse that I just found the other day. Acts 17:27 "He is not far from any of us." That's so true. No matter where you end up in your lifetime or who you're with...He isn't far from any of us. Any.That's amazing to me. What a promise.Thank You, Lord.
"So far away. Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore.
It would be so fine to see your face at my door.
Doesn't help to know, you're just time away.
Long ago I reached for you and there you stood.
Holding you again could only do me good.
How I wish I could, but you're so far away."
Some of you are reading this and thinking, "Oh geez, Heidi's cracked. She's homesick." I wouldn't say that I'm homesick, it's just different to have had Thanksgiving pass and to have a different family around me (one that I am extremely grateful for) and to head into Christmas. I'm going to be honest...it does not feel like Christmas. There's no snow, there are barely Christmas lights, I don't have a tree, I don't have a radio to hear Christmas music, and people here just celebrate completely different. So, I miss coming home from uni and having the house all decked out and digging through ornaments that I've made since I was about four years old.
However, I realize that I can either look at this negatively or be encouraged and challenged by it and look at it with a positive attitude. Which do you think I'm doing? I mean, honestly...I'm on the opposite side of the world learning how to celebrate in a different way. Jesus is still the same no matter which side of the equator I'm on. And when I go through those "I miss familiarity. I miss friends. I miss family." moments, I turn to the verse that I just found the other day. Acts 17:27 "He is not far from any of us." That's so true. No matter where you end up in your lifetime or who you're with...He isn't far from any of us. Any.That's amazing to me. What a promise.Thank You, Lord.
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