The Legend of Ms. Sour

The joys of substitute teaching...

Though I woke up today exhausted, I was stoked because I would be subbing in the Kindergarten class. They are currently at music class as I type this. I walked into the classroom and there's a giant blue rug on the floor with the alphabet on it. Oh yes, it was "THE RUG." The rug where magic happens...where they learn the alphabet, the calendar, and pledge allegiance and then sing a song about the flag that I had never heard before. It was the rug where stories were told and kids giggled. Good times.

I'm amazed at how kids speak. Granted that they are roughly 5-6 years old, I love how they can't pronounce their r's, s's, and have trouble with t's as well...which means that I am "Ms. Sour" yet again. I don't mind that though. I can remember being in kindergarten and having nap time, looking at pictures in books, and attempting to read, when really I was just making up stories...being the creative genius that I am...not really.

It's fun to watch them draw pictures, hear about what they're going to dress up as for halloween one will be a unicorn..my fav), listen to them sound out words, and the laughter. I was thinking about when I get to South Korea, I could be teaching a kindergarten class. Though that scares me because you're responsible for firstly introducing them to the language, seeing this little ones makes me really excited to get over there and work with this age group. I think that it's going to be priceless!

Prayer Requests.

Hey readers,
I'm in need of some pray for specific things. If you can be lifting these up in the next few days,that would be huge.

*Youth all-nighter/lock-in that I've been planning for a month now. Starts this Friday, Oct 30th at 9pm and goes until the 31st at 6am. We have a guest speaker, live band, friends,fellowship,and fun.It's a huge outreach event to my town and we've advertised quite a bit. Please pray that teens will show up and fully grasp the love of Christ through fun times as well as my friend Mike Chapman who is speaking.

*South Korea prep-I've had a lull in my "wanting to learn Korean" and that needs to change. Please pray that I'll get more motivation and will be successful in learning this really interesting language. Also, my immigration papers are going to the school and the country at the beginning of November. Please pray that it's smooth sailing. Also, pray that when I do get my visa, that I don't have to go to Boston,but that I can have a phone interview, and that I'll be able to fly out of Bangor, ME rather than go to Boston. That is actually a big deal.

*Time at home- Please pray that my time at home will bring blessing and hope to people in the area. I've loved being able to get involved with two different youth groups, substitute teach, and work at the after school program with children who really need to have some fun, consistency, and some love. Please pray that I'm making a mark.

Thanks so much. Blessings to you all.

Manic Monday...

I was going to write this yesterday,but based on my day...there was no way that I was going near this thing.

6:40 am: Mom came into my room, woke me up and asked if I wanted to sub. Me-facedown into my pillow-uggghhhhghghgdfdkjl okay.
7:25 am: Burner catches on fire due to me not being fully awake. Good story actually...ask me about it and I'll tell you.
7:45 am: Meet some of my students for the day.
11:30 am: 7 out of 20 students have to stay in for recess because of being disrespectful to me...trust me,I gave them plenty of warnings.
12:45 pm: I send a student down to the principal's office because of lying and sneeking items.
2:30 pm: Couldn't have come fast enough.
3:00 pm: My supposed doctor's appointment.
4:15 pm: Actually seen by doctor.
4:20 pm: Done consult.
4:25 pm: Receive shot.
4:35 pm: Pick up new card(see burner story) and shish kebab skewers.
5:00 pm: Marinade meat.
5:30 pm: Cut finger while cutting up veggies for the kebabs.
6:00 pm: Marinade sauce enters open cut...um,yeah..that killed.
9:00 pm: Realized that the hat that I've been knitting, well I messed it up and have to see a knitter professional to fix it.
11:30 pm: Finally bed.

It's amazing how after I had such a good day on Sunday (see latest blog post), that I have the worst Monday ever. Crazy how that works, eh?
Enjoy my life.

God of Justice

Church. was. awesome. today.

I was dreading waking up early to get to church for 7:40. When I heard the buzzing of my phone at 6:30, I pulled down the blinds just enough to see nothing...that's right...it was still reallllly dark outside. The true signs of winter approaching. I got ready and though I was dreading being at church so early(because I love sleep,not because I don't like Jesus) and what do you know...I was there ten minutes early. Awesome. Go me.

We ran through the songs and soon it was time for service. I hadn't realized that we were having guest speakers today. "Ugh" I thought. "I really needed to hear a sermon today." What kind of an attitude was that? The service went on and soon, the guest speakers were playing a short video...about a rehab center that they started in New Hampshire (about five hours away). "Great. How does this pertain to me at all?"

Here I was so focused on the rehab or "habilitation" as they called it and God clearly had something else in mind. Last night, I was stressing about South Korea and saying good-bye and moving on...and this month at my church is a month focused on missions. Each church should be missional, as well as each person. I, myself, have done/will continue to do missions. "Okay,so what's the point? I've done this already."

I wasn't listening...until the guy said, "People just have to be willing." Ding,ding,ding.

Later on, I was listening to my friends new album and the song "God of Justice" by Tim Hughes came on. I had never heard it before, but here are the lyrics. Coincidence? I don't think so.

God of Justice, Saviour to all

Came to rescue the weak and the poor

Chose to serve and not be served

Jesus, You have called us

Freely we've received

Now freely we will give

We must go live to feed the hungry

Stand beside the broken

We must go

Stepping forward keep us from just singing

Move us into action

We must go

To act justly everyday

Loving mercy in everyway

Walking humbly before You God

You have shown us, what You require

Freely we've received

Now freely we will give

Fill us up and send us out

Fill us up and send us out

Fill us up and send us out Lord

thanks for the check mr. reality...

I was sitting in front of the tv, watching a reality show (don't mock me) and then,reality hit me. I'm not saying that it was because of a girl named Heidi crying on the tv, but then the girl Heidi (me) sitting in the chair, started to cry. I quickly grabbed my laptop and came up to my room so as to not have my mom see me. It's not that I mind crying in front of her,I just didn't know what I would say when she asked what was wrong.

When I got up to my room, I looked at my calendar...9 weeks. Just nine weeks until I would leave for South Korea...for a year...at least. Oh my goodness. Mental. Usually when I talk about it, I'm really excited, but I started to cry this time. "Oh my goodness" and "what am I doing" were the thoughts going through my head. "This is insane" and "This is selfish" soon came flooding my thoughts.

Tears streamed down my face as I thought about the last time I saw my gram. I was coming back from my road trip with my best friend Andy, and I stayed at her house for a night. She spoke about how lonely she is now that gramps is gone (4 years ago) and my heart broke for her.
I thought about the last time I saw my sister and brother in law...I was in Indiana in August-September visiting them as they got settled in more and more. I remember saying goodbye to them as they headed to the airport to fly to England(for the weekend...mental) for a wedding.

I didn't want it to end like that. I don't want 9 weeks to go by fast at all. I'm loving being home and investing in the teens in my town, planning a youth all nighter for this weekend, and substitute teaching kids who say "Oh my goodness I have to fart so bad" and who can't pronounce my name correctly so it comes out "Ms. Sour" instead of Ms. Sattler.

I'm not ready to leave. I'm not ready to say good-bye. Now I know that some of you are saying, "Heid, you have 9 more weeks." The scary thought is how fast those will go by and then it's on to my next adventure, which don't get me wrong, I AM excited for, it's just really overwhelming...and it hit again tonight. I know that it's where God wants me for this time in my life and I know that a year will fly by and before you know it I will be talking about my family flying over to see me and/or signing on for another year at a school over there.

The check of reality came tonight...most definitely. I'm comfortable being home...and though that's awesome and I'm thankful for it, it also kind of scares me...I don't want to settle yet...I want to live life as it comes and long for the next adventure...

So please pray for me and I'll pray for you.

Motivation

I was sitting in math class today when I wrote this.

I'm sitting in math class. Grade 7. We're learning about the standard units of measurement. Riveting. It's 11:17am. Only twenty-three more minutes left in this class. Then onto recess duty for ten minutes. It's quite cold outside, so a winter coat is frighteningly necessary. I'm not going to lie, I love going down the hall and having the kids say, "Who's that?" or "Yay! She's here!" I know, it sounds dorky,but it's nice when kids are actually excited to have me as a substitute.

I've just been sitting in math class after math class. I can't help but scan the classroom and see the looks on the kids faces. They're clearly bored. Perhaps it's because of the monotone teacher. I wonder if I had the same look on my face when I was in grade 7 math class...probably did.

Right now they can't see beyond this. The kids goof off and talk about how they can't wait until they're old enough to drop out of school because they don't see it as "important." They're willing to settle for the life that they've been taught, not to dream, soar, or be passionate about the future. They are willing to settle for mediocre.

Looking around at the posters and "decorations" gets the wheels in my head turning about how I can make my classroom awesome in South Korea. I want kids to be able to focus, but to also feel that learning actually is fun. I want them to have passion and to take that passion out of the classroom. And definitely...under no circumstance...will I allow them to settle for mediocre.

Blast from the Past

I've been working at this school in Maine who has this "No Bullying" policy. I look at the signs that they have up and the kids making posters for it and it makes me think back to how I used to get made fun of SO much when I was growing up.

Over the past couple of weeks, I've come into contact with those people who used to bully me in jr high and high school. First, when I worked on the potato harvester(yes, I did that) and then in stores, gas stations...I've come into contact with three people who used to bully me...and I wonder what kind of people they have become today. Do they still do that? Are they getting picked on? Do they even remember me? The first one, on the harvester, didn't even remember that he used to bully me into finishing his english homework...wow. Don't judge me... I didn't want to get beat up.

Seeing them got me thinking about how I've changed even since high school. It's amazing how much less you have in common with people after you haven't seen them for five years. Mental. This summer, I was able to see Tash and Evy that I met while in New Zealand. It was great to see them, but Tash said something to me that still has me thinking every single day. She said to me after being around me for about forty-five minutes, "You're not the same as you were in New Zealand."

I know that she didn't mean to offend at all, but all I could think was "Ouch!" How had I let that happen? How had I let the person who I had become, get pushed to the backburner...what had I done to allow that to happen? Does that happen when you adapt back into your own culture...your comfort zone? Was I always like that, or just around people that I hadn't seen in a while...because people at camp thought that I was random, spontaneous, and ridiculous...so what has me holding a part of me back?

I dare you to ask yourself the same question...What has you holding a part of yourself back...