It's hard for me to think how long I've been in New Zealand...four and a half months...time has flown by.If I hadn't changed my flight, I would be leaving in about two and a half weeks...but thankfully I still have just over two months left here!In the time here, I have learned so much, experienced so much, and grown so much...but unfortunately not all the growing is positive.
Over the past two weeks, I have had a lot of difficult things happen to me.I have also had positive things happen, but I honestly feel like all of a sudden, a wall is coming down.I've had issues with finances, my lease in my flat is up Feb. 11th and I don't have anywhere to go, relationships have changed, my car is having issues...and honestly, I reached a point the other night where my car stalled at a light (it's an automatic) and I just broke down and my friend started praying at me...not with me, but at me..cause I was just losing it.
I've reached a point where I am sick for home...I think that there are two different kinds of homesickness.I have experienced the "I really wish you were here,but I'm content being here on my own," but the other night, I broke...I finally felt "I am not okay without you being here." I have missed the comfort of home and the feeling of a family.It's different when you live with three girls and you don't get the "family" feel.When my car broke down the other night, I came home and stood in my living room sobbing because I wanted to hear my dad's voice...he's so good with cars that I knew he would know what to do...but he finally felt miles away...a world away.
I called my parents yesterday and spoke with them for nearly two hours.It was so worth it.They have really been such a huge support system for me and for that I am forever grateful.There are times when I get worried about finances for the remainder of my time here,I get worried about what the ministry will look like when I'm gone, worry whether or not my car will make it, but through it all,I am seeking peace from God and trying to believe in faith.
People told me that when I came over here that I would face difficult times, but in the book of John it says that through this life we will have troubles, but take heart for He has overcome the world.I am trying to have that attitude...as I battle to take every thought captive...
Please keep me in your prayers and please know that I am okay.
I appreciate your support.
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2 comments:
We're behind you! If you need a place to stay... we'll talk tomorrow. G
hey now we are 'home" and we miss all of you so far away from home. it is so hard just to be content wherever you are while you are there. hang in there and know we are praying for you (and the car! sorry we stuck you with that one. tell jeff you want the white one now!!!!) we have had our share of hard and trying times away from home. it is really the time when God teaches you the most. i know that sounds just like something your gramma would say but lets face it grammas are right a lot of the time. you are a great example to me of strength and endurance. keep running. you will be given what you need every day. i am sure somedays you just need a good dose of rachel and then your all better :). gotta go but so good to hear you being real!!! loved the video by the way very funny (don't quit your day jobs though). love ya
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