Why do I Doubt?

God never ceases to amaze me. I guarantee that He looks down and must get a chuckle out of the fact that we, as humans, panic. We let things of this world influence our thoughts and how our lives should be, when in reality, we should just be trusting God to take care of us because He says that He will do that. I want to thank those who have been so supportive of me over the past week...your notes of encouragement have come at the perfect time and for that I am forever grateful.Thank you for your kind words, prayers, hugs, and smiles.They have warmed my heart, so I thank you.

Since my last post...God has shown up...yet again...as He always does. I have had offers to live with people for little to no cost, I have had breakthroughs with those that I live with...including them affirming my call to being here.That was so great for me to hear.I have also had some money that has come from unexpected people...thank you!I should be good to go for the remainder of my time here.

I remember talking to my parents on Sunday morning. I've been calling them a lot lately... :) They shared how a lady from my previous church called "randomly" to see if all of my money had come in and that she wanted to donate some to me. They praised God. Then I called and shared with them that I am an example of the phrase, "Even when we are faithless, God is faithFUL." I give thanks and praise to Him.

Be blessed and be a blessing to someone in need...
Heidi

I Fall at Your Feet...

It's hard for me to think how long I've been in New Zealand...four and a half months...time has flown by.If I hadn't changed my flight, I would be leaving in about two and a half weeks...but thankfully I still have just over two months left here!In the time here, I have learned so much, experienced so much, and grown so much...but unfortunately not all the growing is positive.

Over the past two weeks, I have had a lot of difficult things happen to me.I have also had positive things happen, but I honestly feel like all of a sudden, a wall is coming down.I've had issues with finances, my lease in my flat is up Feb. 11th and I don't have anywhere to go, relationships have changed, my car is having issues...and honestly, I reached a point the other night where my car stalled at a light (it's an automatic) and I just broke down and my friend started praying at me...not with me, but at me..cause I was just losing it.

I've reached a point where I am sick for home...I think that there are two different kinds of homesickness.I have experienced the "I really wish you were here,but I'm content being here on my own," but the other night, I broke...I finally felt "I am not okay without you being here." I have missed the comfort of home and the feeling of a family.It's different when you live with three girls and you don't get the "family" feel.When my car broke down the other night, I came home and stood in my living room sobbing because I wanted to hear my dad's voice...he's so good with cars that I knew he would know what to do...but he finally felt miles away...a world away.

I called my parents yesterday and spoke with them for nearly two hours.It was so worth it.They have really been such a huge support system for me and for that I am forever grateful.There are times when I get worried about finances for the remainder of my time here,I get worried about what the ministry will look like when I'm gone, worry whether or not my car will make it, but through it all,I am seeking peace from God and trying to believe in faith.

People told me that when I came over here that I would face difficult times, but in the book of John it says that through this life we will have troubles, but take heart for He has overcome the world.I am trying to have that attitude...as I battle to take every thought captive...

Please keep me in your prayers and please know that I am okay.
I appreciate your support.

Tom Tom

Early this morning I received a message saying that one of my teens, the pastor's son, Tom, was being airlifted to the hospital after suffering from a rock hitting his head as he and his brother and close friend Phil were climbing a mountain. I instantly got on the phone to get people to pray. Throughout the day, I have had numerous people pray for Tom and I would ask that you would continue to do that.

In this photo are Reuben (Tom's brother), me, Tom, and Dom.

After just getting off the phone with his dad and brother Reuben, I learned that Tom is stable in the hospital about an hour and a half outside of Auckland, in Hamilton. The rock was five fists put together and it hit him right on the head, breaking teeth, and causing a fracture in his skull. They managed to keep him conscious the entire time that they were waiting for the chopper to come and pick him up.

He has gone through tests and this text from his mom just came in, "Tom has a big skull fracture. The wound was tricky to stitch but the Dr did an awesome job! Waiting for the facial specialist to arrive and give advice. He's sleeping peacefully. Very aware of God's intervention."

Please keep Tom in your prayers as well as his family: Mike and Michelle (parents), Reuben, Anna, and Josh. As well, please keep Phil and Hans in your prayers as well as Phil saw everything that happened. I've talked to both Phil and Reubs and both seem to be doing well and I had the opportunity to pray with them.

God is faithful and protective.We covet your prayers at this time.

Blessings.

Break My Heart

This past weekend, the annual youth camp "Ignite" was held. I was put in charge of all of the games and activities for the weekend.I had a blast putting things together and once the teams were decided, they too had a blast participating in the activities. The weekend consisted of team challenges, small group activities, but more importantly, challenging the teens in their relationship with Christ.

My friend Brent presented the Word and honestly, I got the hugest blessing out of messages.I love being challenged when it comes to loving people and in taking steps to imitating Christ more. I appreciate when people don't sugarcoat things, but when they are totally real with you...and that's what Brent did. He presented the Scripture in a way that was relevent to the teens as well as the leaders.

One of the topics that he spoke about was to not miss out on any opportunity because you never know who you could meet and what kind of impact you could have.That's what I did this weekend...I was determined to not miss out on an opportunity.

One of my teens has really been heavy on my heart for the past two months.I have been praying that he will come to know Christ and own his faith.He was thankfully able to attend camp and I was praying so hard that God would really start to break his heart, just as God had broken my heart for this teen.

When I first arrived in New Zealand, I forced myself to stay awake so that I could meet my teens that I would be working with. When this teen walked in, I didn't think that I would ever get along with him. He was a "pretty boy" and I typically didn't hang out with "pretty boys," so I knew that this would be a challenge. However, after being here three months and seeing the way that he interacts with people, he has such a massive heart. It's a heart that is hidden by hurt, because he cares too much.

I remember growing up, and even still today, people telling me "Heidi, you have a rare heart. You hurt because you care too much." My teen is the same way. After the last service at camp, I ran after my teen to talk with him. We sat down for about twenty minutes and after sharing Scripture with him and talking to him about my experiences and what I see in him, he broke. We stood up and he gave me a hug that lasted for the longest time and it was the tightest hug that I have ever received. He leaned on my shoulder crying as I prayed for him.

God is moving...and it is such a blessing to play a small part. I hope that this encourages you to seize every opportunity that you can because you never know what you could potentially miss out on or who you could potentially not bless because of your own fear.

So this is the New Year...

New Years in New Zealand. This picture was taken of the Sky Tower in Auckland from Devonport.They shut the lights off of the sky tower (which was all white) and then they had the fireworks actually shoot out from the sky tower. That was intense! A group of us went down to watch the fireworks and I had the pleasure of spending New Year's Eve with my flatmate Michelle and her brother Cameron who had come up for the weekend. Usually in Maine, we watch the fireworks from Times Square via television, so it was quite the experience to be watching them from the city. It was definitely something to mark down in my books.

As it is New Years, I have a list of things that I want to do this year...or at least for the next three months. My friend Brent gave me this amazing Christmas present. He gave me a "Heidi's Adventure List" to get me motivated to do things while I'm here for three months. Thanks pal!These are the adventures that I hope to tackle before I head home at the end of March.

*Sheer a sheep
*Milk a cow
*Climb Mt. Rangitoto (inactive volcano)
*Wellington (capital of NZ)
*Cathedral's Cove (filmed Prince Caspian)
*See a kiwibird
*Hold a lion cub
*Cliff jumping
*Pier jumping
*Go camping
*Chase a Pokeku
*The Luge
*Bungee jumping
*Baptized in the Pacific
*Attempt surfing
*See a dolphin
*Fishing
*Zoo
*Sky Tower
*Learn how to play netball
*Pick up a hitch hiker
*Take the bus (scary thought)
*Rotorua

We'll see how many of these I get to do!Come along my adventure!